feeling of guilt

by vivian smith
(loxahatchee florida)

I lost my father this Dec. 5 2013. He lived with my husband and I.He was my rock,a man I though would be there forever for me. I can't tell you the grief I am going thru,its unbearable. I left on vacation Dec.4,told him I would see him sat,and then received a phone call dec.5 from my husband saying he had died. My problem is the guilt.I was not there for him,to pick him up from the floor like I had done so many times before.everyone tells me it was meant to happen that way,I was daddy's girl. But no words can make it better.I know it takes time,I just wish the guilt would go away,I wish he could tell me it was the way it was meant to be. I am so lost without him.I love you dad. Viv

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Dec 20, 2013
thank you
by: vivian

Thanks everyone for the support,and I know he didn't want me to find him.I talked to him the other night told him how I felt,cried,yelled at him but then told him I knew he was now so happy with my mom.the next morning I woke up like a new person,more energized,no crying.don't know if it was dad helping me with my grief,but I would like to think it was.

Dec 20, 2013
Dear Vivian,
by: Anonymous

I am sorry to read about your father. I lost my father suddenly as well - in January. I am so lost - even though I am a grown woman, I never imagined a world without him, and my entire life seems so unbalanced now. I understand completely how you feel - you are not alone. I will keep you in my thoughts and I wish you peace during this difficult time. Barb

Dec 19, 2013
He knew. ..
by: Anonymous

I was at at my husband's father funeral and the Minister said."we can be prepared, but not ready. They will go when the most loved one is not present" because they can't bear to let you go. ..My father died also 10 minutes after I left. ...
Hope this helps you...know tha the you were loved....

Dec 19, 2013
feeling of guilt
by: Doreen UK

Vivian I am sorry for your loss of your father to a sudden death. Guilt is one of the strongest aspects associated with loss. It can cripple us if we don't keep it in right perspective. Grief assaults our body and our emotions. Nurturing yourself each day helps. Caring for your needs and treating yourself special will help build a good foundation to healing from grief.
None of us knows when we will lose someone suddenly from our lives and we don't get to say all the things we need to. If you keep a journal and pour out your feelings and emotions in this journal even writing letters to your father and letting him know how his death has affected you will help you to heal. Just getting it all out of one's system is a healthy start. It is the most painful moment to suddenly hear you have lost your beloved member of your family. We go into shock, and disbelief and find it hard to cope with all these changing feelings and emotions going on inside of us. I lost my husband 19 months ago to cancer. Taking one day at a time helped me cope with my grief. 19 months later I can still only take one day at a time. Life will get easier in time. It won't feel like it now. Each day you will find grief gets easier to bear. I often think to die quickly is easier. I was caregiver to my husband for over 3yrs. and he died a slow painful death. I painfully watched him grieve his own dying moments and it hurt. Each day you will heal from your loss.

Dec 19, 2013
So sorry
by: Deb


I am so sorry for your recent loss of your father. Sometimes our loved ones want to wait until they are alone to pass away. I have heard this and have witnessed it with our father in law.

Please do not feel guilty, he knew how much you loved him because you were his little girl.

Pray for peace and strength and HE will get you through the next days and months.

I recently lost my brother to suicide and this is our first Christmas without him. I read a whole lot on grief and come on here for support.

Please keep posting here and you will find some help.


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