Feeling so lost...

by Lisa Van Heck
(Fountain, MI)

August 2, 1997

August 2, 1997

My husband of 14 years passed away in a terrible car accident on MARCH 7, 2011. For the most part I stay strong for the sake of our kids, but most nights I fall asleep crying. I feel so much guilt inside. We fought so much, and it scares me that he died thinking I didn't love him anymore. He was my life. I have never been alone and even though I am staying strong and getting things done, I feel like I am still dying inside. I feel like any day my strength is just going to give out and I won't be able to handle anything. He was our daughter's best friend. They did so much together including hunting and fishing. His death devastated her, but she is such a trooper. She was 12 when he passed, 13 now and she holds up so much better than I do.

Comments for Feeling so lost...

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Dec 29, 2011
I feel your pain.
by: Anonymous

I lost my husband 5 years ago in a single car accident and can certainly feel your pain. The night of his accident, we had very harsh words that were spoken to one another and I will carry that forever. Tomorrow, December 30 would have been our 22nd wedding anniversary and I'm so overcome with grief. Even though I have remarried I miss him so much. Trying to stay strong for the children is important. But they are grieving in their own ways as well. Grief is a funny thing and there is no magic as to when it will end. Just cherish the moments that you did share, and always keep him in your heart.

Dec 26, 2011
by: TrishJ

Trust me when I say your husband knows that you love him. He knows.
We all feel guilt when our husbands die. I should've done more......I didn't love him enough. My husband and I argued a lot too but we also loved a lot. I still miss him so much - my heart aches daily. It's been just a little over 1 year for me. The holidays are so difficult without our loved ones.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Children need their dad but they somehow manage to make it. Keep your husband's memory alive. They will appreciate you for it.
God bless.

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