Feelings of intense sadness

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Feelings of intense sadness

by Colleen
(Edenvale, Gauteng, South Africa)

The pain will not let up. I wake up in the morning and just for a second the world is normal then it all comes back. I know tomorrow will not be any better, dragging myself out of bed to do this thing called life, although it is no longer a life but an existence with sorrow, pain etc, thrown in for good measure. Going out all you see are happy couples everywhere; lets face it it is a world for couples and the rest of us are slotted into a shame box. Please let me off this planet.

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Feelings of intense sadness

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Intense Sadness
by: Bonnie

Colleen,
It's been 2 yrs since I lost my husband, my grief was delayed and now I find myself so lost and empty I don't think I can go on either. I keep asking God when will this terrible pain end - when will I see some hope. I'm trusting my therapist and God in believing that my heart will heal and open again so that I can feel the love of God and others that are reaching out to me. We have to hang on and continue to hope that in time we will heal. Everyone is telling me that in time it will get better - let's hang in there together.

Intense Sadness
by: Betty

Sadness is just not a strong enough word, is it? I just lost both parents. That makes me technically an 'orphan'. I still have my husband, but even having him hasn't eased this type of pain. I've lost dogs, a niece and nephew, but my Mom and Dad are gone.

Logically, as the others said, I know it will ease, as they've told you. Ive just found this blog, but already it's helped. And, I have found the best thing is to let it out. Don't try to hold back or you will go insane. I sure hope it starts to ease soon. It really is close to unbearable isn't it?

feelings of intense sadness
by: Jules

Colleen - we on here do know how you are feeling, we have all felt the same way at some stage through this erratic journey that is grief. If I am having coffee alone in a shopping centre, I sometimes am envious of the couples that I see together - especially the ones a lot older than me - how come they still have each other, and my love is no longer here - it is not fair.
But there is no place to put the blame - it happened - no one can change it - so I just drink my coffee and say thanks for the 40 years we did have together - I am so lucky we had that time with each other.

It is now over 12 months, and the sad times are growing further apart - this morning (Sunday) lying in bed, I would love to just be able to turn over and have a cuddle with him, get him to make me a cup of tea, laugh, talk about the news, decide what we would do today - but my Sunday lies in front of me - on my own, though I might be going somewhere with my daughter and her family, weather permitting.

I know how hard it is, but you are here and you have to make the best of your life now, wouldn't your love want you to do this?

I know the sadness can be overwhelming, but one breath, one step at a time, that is all we can do.
Take care
jules

The meltdowns
by:

Colleen,

I would seem that every song. Every couple is out to make your existence a little more painful. I assure you it is not. It is one of the things that we have all been through. It is so easy to be envious of the other couples young and old. How come They get to grow old together and We weren't?!! I mean it really is no damn fair!

Heading towards the year mark 12-6-10 in a few days, I will not lie to you and say time heals all wounds. It does not. But, there will be some days that you can notice that it is a beautiful day. You will be able to giggle at the little girl holding the cat and the cat just trying to escape. You will pull out of the fog of misery with each passing day.

There will be meltdowns as I call them. I had one today. The Christmas music bearing down on me I had to just go outside and cry for a bit.

Now things seem impossible to you, I understand, we have all been there, are there to some extent. That is why we write read and try to help others to help ourselves.

Just take things one minute at a time, expect no more. The heartache of grief is a bumpy ride good days and bad. Just keep trying to get through the day. And when it is a rough one come back we will be here always...
HH

sorry there's no way off
by: Judy

Colleen,

I wish I could give you a magic wand or answer that would take your pain away. The problem is that there is no such thing. We just have to ride this crazy roller coaster called grief until the ride ends, whereever it's destined to end for you. You just live the day or hour you are in, and eventually it will be over and a new day will begin dragging you unwillingly with it. Somedays will be diamonds and many will be stones but they will all eventually end, time will pass, pain will begin to lessen until the next time it smacks you down. The you will have to start again but in time it will be easier and eventually you will realize that it has gotten better and you almost didn't realize it.

You have many friends here who have ridden and are riding this miserable roller coaster. It's the pits but it is easier knowing there are many of us here who genuinely get it. Talk to us. Come often. There's nothing you can't say or express here that we don't understand and have probably felt ourselves.

You can dot it.

JM

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Feelings of intense sadness