Finding purpose

It is really hard to find a purpose right now. Why am I here? My whole life was my husband we did everything together. I have no reason to even get out of bed. How do you make people understand how much it hurts.

Comments for Finding purpose

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Jan 12, 2011
finding purpose
by: Donna

I like most on this site cannot imagine what purpose we might possibly have without our soulmate. Actually until your post I never thought about it much. To be honest I didn't think that I had a purpose any more, not without Bryan. We did everything together. The only purpose that I can think of is, to teach my grandchildren about what a wonderful, loving, talented, etc.... grandpa they have and try to do the things that he would do for/with them. Like going fishing, I promised Bryan that we would be able to take the grandbabies fishing as soon as he got to feeling better. He was so upset that he wasn't able to take his boys fishing.

So I guess I will have to take Johnny and Michael fishing since Bryan is not here to do it. I don't know if or when I can do this, Bryan and I always went fishing together. There are so many things in life that we did together that I can't imagine doing without him, so many things. I guess I must make myself do these things for the kids and for Bryan. It will be so hard.

Thank you for making me realize that I guess I do have a purpose in this life after all. That would be my kids and grandkids. I pray for each of us that we might take this long horrible journey one step one breath at a time. May God take care of us all until the day we get to be with our loved ones

Jan 11, 2011
How Do WE??
by: Pat

How do we make people understand? It's been just 6 weeks for me. I wake up each day and wonder, "What would I be doing right now if my husband were still here?" I can't think of my life without him. I left my job almost a year ago to take care of him. We were together 24/7. I've just come to a complete halt. I'm just existing. I go out with a friend and I don't want to be there. Everything I do is not enjoyable because he's not there with me. Everyone says give it time~things will get better. I don't know how that will happen. My husband was my whole life.

I pray daily for release from this pain. I guess it is up to us to move ahead but for now I'm stuck. I wish I could be more help and/or comfort to you.

Jan 11, 2011
The New Normal

I think that after half of us is torn from our being we all try to figure out....What Now? Who am I without the very person who made me whole?

I try to think that I once was, Myself. Before I met him and I need to find out who I am and what I want to be now. It seems impossible, He almost made it to what would have been our 17th anniversary Jan 1,2010.

When you first pull out of the fog of initial grief you want to go into the fetal position and stay there. You can't think and don't care anyway. But things need to be done usually in a minimal way. Do the dishes, feed the kids, go to work and try to be normal.

But now we have new normal and none of us knows what the @#$%^&*() that is supposed to be.
I am convinced at this time a year, a month and 10 days and 9 hours later. That I am to pay the bills, feed the child and go to work.

I yearn for someone to talk to but myself. I do have some pretty heated arguments as I tear myself down and end with the I don't give a S--T. Negative right? Not good. Negative bad positive goooood.

But we all have to find our way. We need to tire of grief leading our every thought, emotion and action before we decide enough, this is boring, I am boring I wouldn't want my own damn self for company. Then we start to reach out to all things foreign and strange to us. Doing things and activities that we are so uncomfortable with. But I can't do that... there is no one to lean on! Yes you can and yes you will when you tire of your own company...

My best to you me and us all on the new normal.

Jan 11, 2011
by: Cindy

Oh how I know how you feel. I keep asking myself the same thing, what is my purpose here? It is not right... the love of my life is gone and hard to go on. He has been gone two months and feels like eternity. We did everything together too. He was my whole life. I pray we find our way in this life we have been forced to live. It is not easy and the loneliness is unbearable. Just want you to know that you are not alone....

Jan 11, 2011
Purpose Experience
by: Judith

Dear, I feel your pain and the same way. It's most devastating not to have the very person who made your life worthwhile, even when we had to care for them as a nurse. Which I did. But that was the main reason for me to keep going. He gave me purpose. It was a joy to care for him. So we go on, lost as to who we are as women or men.

Finding oneself at this late stage in the game of life is not easy. I'm 65 and never thought I'd be at this point. If you're like me you're still crying at the drop of a hat any moment of the day. It's a hurt beyond description. We have to walk on though the wind, walk on through the rain tho our dreams be tossed and blown. At times I wonder why. God bless you and all of us who are going through this horrible fate. May he bring us peace soon.

Jan 11, 2011
by: Colleen

You can not explain to people how much it hurts, It is a pain you would like to cut out. You do not say how long you have been on this horrible road. I am also battling to find a purpose but keep trying, you will find a purpose. If you are up to it maybe do some charity work to keep yourself busy. Try and fake it until you make it. Remember we are all here for you.

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