first christmas without my dad

by mark t parsons

where do i begin,
realised im into december , since dad died in july, up until now ive totally blanked out any emotion or feeling to cope with out him then for some unknown reason i wake very early christmas morning like if i was young again waiting to see what father christmas had come.

i looked at the clock its 430am, then everything hit me , was like if time stood still i finally realised my dads gone , broke down in tears, i must have cried for ages , then thought to my self must pick my self up and carry on, dad would not have wanted me to be like this, since hes gone its left a terrible emptiness i cannot fill.

i think we kid ourselves that were coping ok but deep down the pain still there, slowly eating into our heart day by day,
trying to lift your self above it , and hoping there nothing to remind you of them because you know you wont cope, but as my dad said to me before he died , i lost my dad when i was 16
my brother ,my mam my sister and his brother 3 months before he died , i know cancer is going to see me off , but im looking forward to seeing them again because ive missed them so much, but i dont want to say good bye either,i will leave behind my lovely wife who has been the love of my life for years , and my kids whom i love soo much .

theres so much he said but i cant write no more it just upsets me again , thank you for your time for reading this
hope you are coping like me

take care

mark p

Comments for first christmas without my dad

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Jan 21, 2012
by: Anonymous

Dear mark: yours is the first blog that I had the strength, insight and courage to click on: already I feel a bond because my wonderful dad with all of his wisdom and insight also was taken to his final resting place from a battle with the big c. I just experienced my 1st christmas w/o my father christmas and though I tried so hard to feel the love and peace of the season I couldnt help but to notice the barren spot that he filled so grandly. Any ways I too know that he would never like to see us suffer but since he was so absolutely grande, I am a child again and all alone w/o him and I pray for u and me and all of us to find peace and strength to go on w/ the hootspa that they taught us that makes e' thing ok. GODSPEED.

Jan 13, 2012
First Christmas
by: TrishJ

Many of us make the mistake of hiding our emotions. Losing someone we love is almost like losing and arm or leg. We've had them ripped from us and it takes a long time to heal. We never fully heal but we do learn to live with the situation. Christmas always seems to bring the most pain. That special day ~ it seems to intensify the loss.
Crying is good for the soul. Tears help us to mend. Keep your dad's memory alive and with you always. He will always love you and be there for you. Talk to him. He's listening.
God bless. I hope your day is a good one.

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