First Thanksgiving

by Millbill

This Thanksgiving was my first without my husband he passed 11 months ago.I chose to spend the day with just my teenage daughter instead of more family as I knew it would be a hard day and it was,I had to leave the room often to cry.I still feel like my world has fallen apart For me this year has been hell being without my true soulmate.No one wants to talk about him anymore its like he never existed to my people.They tell me to go thru his stuff and move on even to look for love again huh??dont they get that he is my oncee in a lifetime love and that there will be no one else for me??So as I live on I will do the best I can.I will continue to honor my husband,will continue to work on a scrapbook of his life,I will continue to wear my wedding rings with joy and I will continue to remember him with love.

Comments for First Thanksgiving

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Nov 25, 2012
First Thanksgiving
by: Doreen U.K.

I am sorry for your loss of your husband 11 months ago. I lost my husband of 44yrs. 6 months ago to cancer. He was my first love and my last love.
just like you say you will honour your husband and you will not have anyone else. How could people be so insensitive to you and tell you to move on and find someone else? They are clueless to the loss of a husband otherwise they would not talk this way.
I can't talk about Steve and how much I miss him as no one will understand. I have to keep silent. I notice also how everyone has moved on with their lives and it is as if Steve never existed. My heart is Broken. How do I get through Christmas without Steve. He loved cooking and he loved putting decorations up. I can't do this. It is too early. I am starting to feel panic stricken. Searching for Steve in the clutter in my head.
Every day is a battle with LONLINESS & ALONENESS.
I know how you feel. I don't think time is going to be on our side. We will feel like this forever. The pain may get less in time. This is someone you shared your love and life with. How can you get over this so quickly. No ammount of positive thinking can help us in our grief. Thinking positive does not alter our feelings and our loss. It is all still there. We are hurt at a deep level.
I hope you have a good supportive family and some good friends who do understand and will support you through your grief and sorrow.

Nov 25, 2012
The First's
by: Ella

I can truly relate to all of you. This is the first Thanksgiving without my "little mama", she died June 8, 2012 in my home at the age of 88. My siblings and their children were over, but it just did not feel the same. I did not realize that you could miss someone so much, the agonizing pain can often be to much to bear. I spent Thanksgiving day pretending that everything was fine and later that night, I broke down and cried like a new born. I knew life without my "little mama" would be difficult but this is just unbearable, there's no words to express how I feel.. How am I suppost to move forward with my life when I have this big cloud hanging over my head daily (GRIEF). I was mother's youngest child and primary care taker for 16 years, 5 months, 7 days, 15 hours and 35 minutes. We had many GOOD times together during those years and I knew this day would come but no one can prepare you for something of this magitutde. Now Christmas is just around the corner, oh how I long to hve my "little moma" with me. I need her so very, very much. I feel like a little child that has been abandoned and no one seem to want to find me. Where are all those people that were at the house prior to the funeral, everyone seems to have abandone me as well. Lord help me, I just don't know what to do. I need my "LITTLE MOMMA". I must stop now, the tear are taking over.....PLEASE PRAY FOR ME IN TEXAS

Nov 24, 2012
I know!
by: Cindy

This to is my first Thanksgiving with out my soul mate. He passed away 2 1/2 months ago. I to stayed home with my grandson because I knew it was going to be hard. We always cooked together or I was his prep cook. I to wear my wedding ring with pride. I just bought a widows wedding band to wear next to my wedding band. His coat brings comfort and no one has the right to tell you to move on. We each walk this road and must walk it to how we can handle each turn. You are not a lone and many of us are on the same journy. Be kind to yourself and true to your feelings.

Nov 24, 2012
First Thanksgiving
by: Alan

I know what it's like, Millbill. In two weeks it will be one year that I lost my beautiful wife, Donna, to lung cancer after a hard fought two year battle with this awful disease. I decided to spend the holiday alone, I felt like I had to be alone. Unlike you we had no children. I feel like so many people have swept the memory of this loving, giving, smart, caring person under the rug, and I get furious! They say it's hard to talk about or they don't know what to say. How do they think we feel? We sure didn't choose to be on this overwhelmingly painful road that we have no choice but to travel.

I spent most of my day in tears, I suspected it would be hard, it turned out to be one of my toughest days yet.After 34 years of marriage, how am I supposed to feel? The love we have for our soulmate didn't just dissapear. We miss everything about them.

You are not alone, feel free to tell us all about your husband. I have no magic words for you, no advice to share, but just know that you'll never be alone.

May we all find the strength to carry on.

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