firstborn son

by sarah

i lost my first born son due to accidental overdose on prescription drugs im heartbroken he had a ful medical weeks before and all was clear he was fine when he went to bed and he never woke up this was on the 18th of june were shocked

Comments for firstborn son

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Feb 06, 2013
so sad
by: Anonymous

thank you for your comments this website is great but its so sad we have to be here firstly im so sorry for all your losses my sons death was so much harder than my dad and my sister my dad died 5 months after my son and my sister died 18 months exactly after my son they both had cancer i did not seem to greave as much for them as they were both in such pain but i really do miss them but after losing a child i think your feelings change and if its unexpected its like a shock you keep thinking what if and why people keep saying it will get easier but after over 17 months i dont think so x

Feb 06, 2013
by: Anonymous

hello everyone so sad just now havent been on here i like most of you have changed so much and not in an nice way its now a year and seven months and still not feeling much better i cant understand why they only put overdose on my sons death certificate when it was meant to be accidental i keep thinking mabie hi meant to do it and feel i failed him overdose sounds the same as suicide so many questions i cant get answers to i did not live near my son 150 miles apart so dont know what was in his head he did say 2 weeks earlier he thought the world would be a better place without him but he said a lot of stange things after he withdrew from the opiets i said son your scaring me saying that and he said mum just sometimes feel that way but would never do that then he went back to talking about normal things so dont think i will ever know the only thing is my son knew if anything happened to him it would destoy me and he would never hurt me just so mixed up about everything i cant move on prayers are with you all its the worse pain a mother has to go through x

Aug 31, 2012
tormented mind
by: Anonymous

hello all first i must say how sorry i am for all of your losses it has been 14 months now for me i still torment myself because of my sons eyes being open people say he wouldnt feel anything but its hard to believe he was unconcious when he died i keep thinking he woke up and knew and was trying to get help i do know he did not get out of bed but still being tormented to think he woke up and suffered x

Jul 31, 2012
firstborn son
by: Anonymous

hi what i cant understand is they say my son died in his sleep but his eyes were open and i will always wonder if he woke up and felt anything also on his death certificate it said overdose dosent that mean suicide i thought it would have said accidental overdose or death by misadventure my mind has been tormented by this for over a year

Feb 07, 2012
by: Bee-lieve ( Hope)

Hi , I wanted to let you know , lost my oldest son Rick, last month (Jan.2,2012) the day after his 41 st birthday. I totally understand where you are at. I can tell you that you need to get up and just take one day ( or step) at a time.I feel like my heart has HUGE empty hole in it. I feel like I am in a fog/dream and I want to wake up. Please know you are not alone and in sharing ... we can help each other survive.

Oct 04, 2011
recovering from loss?
by: Anonymous

Here is a quote that I keep above my desk that states how I feel about losing my son.
"Recovering from loss? I'm not sure anyone can be expected to recover from the death of their child; considering the value of what was lost and the consequences of that loss. I think recovery is a misleading and empty expectation. We recover from broken limbs and bad illnesses. this type of loss goes into the category of catastrophic.... Catastrophic loss by definition precludes recovery. it will either transform us or destroy us, but it will never leave us the same. There is no going back to the past. The future will....and must, include the pain of the past with it. Sorrow never entirely leaves the soul of a parent who endures the death of a child. If anything, it takes us to a deeper place in which we have the opportunity to come face to face with...the soul." - Marsha Flynn Abbott

Oct 04, 2011
Lost my son to accidential OD also
by: Markita

I lost my firstborn son (24 yrs old) to an accidental drug/alcohol OD this past July 25, 2011. He went to sleep and never woke up. I feel so terrible because I had NO idea he was doing that stuff. I cried for days until the memorial service 9 days later. People at the service said "You are doing so well!" no I wasn't-I was still in SHOCK. It's been 2.5 months and I still think about him all the time-What if? If I had only known he was doing that would it have made a difference? Will never know. I still break down and burst into tears. I have joined a group
"Parents that have lost adult children". It helps because everyone is in the same boat as me. I miss him everyday and my life will never be the same. His brother is 21 and acts like he is OK-but I know he is NOT! My ex husband is no help as he said about one month after the death "You need to stop DWELLING on this!" That really hurt me to the bone as it was his son also. Also, it drives me crazy when someone will say "It's God's will". If that is true, then that is a God that I want nothing to do with that will take a child of 24.

Sep 12, 2011
loss of son
by: Anonymous

thank you for all the replys so sorry for your losses its so hard i havent been to well so i havent been on well people say you get over it i dont think i will ever get over it then theres you learn to live with it again i dont think i mean how can you learn to live without your child its almost 3 months now and ive hardly been out of bed dont think i want to learn to live with it how hard it is to have this happen xxxx

Sep 01, 2011
I Lost My Son To Drugs Also
by: Anonymous

I don't know if your situation is the same as mine. However, the sudden and unexpected loss of a child is something I would not wish for anyone. The loss for a mother I believe is harder. Mothers have a special bond with their kids. I believe it begins in the womb, a special bond that last for all time, between child and mother. I have changed as a person. Most everyone I know I don't have much feeling for anymore. My tolerance is very low, I don'r want to really make time for anyone anymore.I hate living with so many questions I have no answers for. Feeling like I let him down somehow. I will never feel good about his death and time will never heal my pain. I wish everyone would stop telling me that time will heal and you will get better.Maybe outside I can make it look like it's better but inside it does not get better.It never will.I LOST MY ONLY SON AND CHILD. So don't tell me it gets better it does not.period....

Aug 31, 2011
same story
by: Anonymous

I lost my son at the age of 28 to the same thing. This was 7 months ago. I am so so sorry for your loss. The accidental overdose on prescription drugs is becoming a epidemic and now we are the victims and our sons are gone. Take one day at a time - and pray. It has only been through the grace of God and Jesus that I make it through the days.

Aug 31, 2011
So Sorry
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry for your loss. The sudden shocking death of a child is something that will take you a long time to deal with. We never get over it. Your son will be in your heart forever.
Be good to yourself and just take things one day at a time. Don't let anyone rush you through your grieve. You are in pain.
God's blessings to you.

Aug 31, 2011
so sorry
by: Anonymous

I lost my son one year ago this month to leukemia. He was only 23 years and 27 days old when he grew his wings. I have been attending The Compassionate Friends meetings and have been vocal on a facebook group called Grieving Mothers. There are over 5,000 grieving moms in the group. Lots of support....I'm so sorry that you are in this club.

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