For real???

by Angel Harris
(Kitty hawk)

Few things in life will be as shocking as the moment you learn your Dad has died. There is a fraction of a moment before the news fully begins to hit you when the whole world stops. The sounds around you seem muffled and far away. You are aware for those very few seconds that you are about to get slammed with a reality you can't possibly already know how to cope with. Whether it's God, or simply the instinctive reaction of the human brain that gives you that tiniest bit of time between knowing what's coming and actually beginning to feel it, it's a sensation that is difficult to describe. And then it hits you. Your Dad is gone. And your life will never be the same again.Despite the fact that my Dad had been sick for some time, the reality is i was completely stunned when i was told he had just died. I think somehow, somewhere inside of me, I clung to the belief that my Dad couldn't really die. But it has happened. At this time nothing can ease my total heartbreak over the fact that my Dad has died. Maybe in time I will learn a new normal. I have lost a teacher and someone to look up to. I can only hope that I can teach as he did. With all my heart, and with every tear, I will try and be the daughter you raised me to be. I love you DAD, rest in peace. 

Comments for For real???

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Feb 10, 2014
Broken hearted
by: Anonymous

My dad passed away January 18 th. I can hardly bear the loss. I'm so heart broken I also lost my mom 8 months ago this is too much to bear . My dad was hospitalized at the time of his death and I was with him every day and you know he was on a palliative care cancer ward. I could count on one hand the small amt of nurses who actually gave him the care he deserved and made him feel like he mattered My father passed away in the early morning hours his doctor at the time was off duty. However the covering doctor never saw him and his doctor who was off duty at the time has never called to speak to me to let me know what happened or that he mattered and she was sorry to hear he had passed away I only wanted people to care for him and that he mattered. He deserved so much better My father was a wonderful man very thankful for whatever anyone did for him I miss him terribly I am absolutely heartbroken

Nov 11, 2013
i feel you
by: angry woman missing her dad :(

I am sorry for your loss. I know what you mean . I felt the same way when I found out my dad passed away. Although he had been in a hospice center for 5 days I thought and hoped he would recover but he didn't he passed away at the age of 42 I was 23 at the time I am now 25 and still cry and feel a rage every time I truly let my self think about it . I wish I could say I am glad he's in a better place and yes its true he is but why? Why would god rather have him and Rio him from me and my mom and my sisters and youngest brother that was 3 at the time. Its crazy to me and Dont make sense . I hope you and I heal in time and let go of our anger but reality is I know I never will. Good luck to you are not alone .

Aug 27, 2013
Condolences Angel
by: S from Portugal

Dear Angel,

Everything you have shared it's as if it's ME speaking! I feel exactly the same about losing my dear Dad.

Praying for God's comfort, and peace that only He can give for you and the rest of your family.

God Bless

Aug 18, 2013
For real???
by: silver

I know what you mean.For some reason,we never expect our parents to die and when they do it's a great shock.I was at work when I got the call my dad had died.I screamed and threw the phone.I felt that it couldn't be true.He had struggled with cancer for 13 yrs.Why isn't he still here? To make it worse,my mom followed him in 7 months.They had been married 64 yrs and she just gave up.Yes,they were in their early 80's but how could I believe they were both gone in such a short time? It took me a long time to grieve because I had to clean out their house and get it ready for sale.Every time I came across some memory I cried.I also had to become guardian for my older mentally retarded brother.After everything was done was when I began to grieve.It takes awhile but now,3 yrs for mom,and almost 4 for dad,I am dealing with it better.I still get sad sometimes.I cry on occasion.My biggest help is my faith in GOD.My second help is this site.The support here is so wonderful.I'm not sure how far along I would be if not for the support here.Read the poetry also.There are some beautiful ones.We all need to continue to let others know that there is someone who knows exactly how we feel.GOD send you strength and peace.I keep you in my prayers

Aug 04, 2013
For real???
by: Doreen U.K.

Angel I am sorry for your loss of your Dad. There is never a reality so clear as when we lose someone close from our lives that will affect our living forever. A father is a very significant person in any child's life. If you had a good father you are blessed. The hardest part is the realisation that your father will never come back and make your life secure and happy again. It is the finality of our loss that is so difficult to bear. The sudden feeling of emptiness and lonliness and wanting to reach out to him and he is not there. As each day goes by it just reinforces the reality that Death is so final.
You will take what your dad taught you and put in you throughout your life and live out what you learned at your father's knee.
I have wonderful memories of my father and what he put in me and my 5 siblings and so all you can do is HONOUR your father through your life and live it well.
Take one day at a time and you will soon get your life back and have precious memories of your father forever.

Aug 03, 2013
So sorry
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry to read about your father. I lost my father 7 months ago, and still cannot believe that he is gone. I hope you find comfort on this website as we are all on this journey together. Wishing you Peace.

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