Forever in my heart ~ Never to be forgotten...

by Kathleen Andrews-Davis
(Taunton, MA, USA)

Written by: Kathy Andrews-Davis - Raynham/Taunton, MA
July 19, 2013

In loving memory of my brother & my sister:

Richard E. Andrews, Jr. - 10/29/62-1/22/78
Kelley J. Andrews - 3/24/67-8/16/84

I am the oldest sibling of three. My brother, Richard, JR., was one year younger than me and my sister, Kelley Jean, was six years younger than me.

Both Richard's and Kelley's lives were cut short in their mid-teens by similar congential heart disorders which were genetic. I, was tested, and found not to have the heart valve disorder that took both my siblings lives and left me the "sole survivor".

Richard died on 1/22/78 at the age of 15. I miss him dearly. My sister died on 8/16/84 at the age of 17 - three weeks before my wedding.

Because their heart disorders are genetic, when I married, I chose not to have children. The condition could be passed on to my child and I did not want to have to live with the fact that another young person that I loved could die.

My life has never been the same. It has also been difficult to find people who I can share my story with and also who have had a smiliar life as myself.

I should feel "lucky" to be alive, but I have had bouts of anxiety, guilt and depression wondering why I was spared and they had to die at such a young age.

There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of the both of them.

I have been divorced for 12 years now. My saving grace is that I finally found my soul mate and we are engaged to be married soon.

I am also thankful to have found this website so I could share my story.

God Bless...

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Jul 20, 2013
Forever in my heart ~ Never to be forgotten...
by: Doreen U.K.

Kathleen I am sorry for your loss of both your siblings to this rare congenital disease. Don't feel guilty that you were spared and they were not. Only God our creator has all the answers, but I do understand how you feel and why you would feel this way. You have lost a huge part of your life which you can't get back and will wonder forever what life would have been like had they lived. This is normal. I wonder what life would be like now if my husband had lived and not died. Because life is now lonely and miserable. But death challenges even our thinking. We just come to terms with our loss but the pain we can't get rid of. It takes time to restore our lives back to some normality. You have another loss to grieve being that as a result of this medical condition it robbed you of having children. This is such a huge loss to a couple. If you marry your soul mate you may be able to adopt an older child. This may not be for you now. But some women still have this VOID in their life and feel unfulfilled.
My sister had one child and having cancer couldn't have anymore. She felt this Void and angry at life feeling robbed of this joy. God gave her a gift and a Church full of children she taught for many years and she was fulfilled in ways the ache in her heart went. I guess we all find what works for us, but these are only suggestions that may help someone. I wish you all the best in your future relationship and that you will find fulfilment and happiness on going.

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