Forever in my heart
My dad passed away on the 30.05.2012.
He was very much loved by me.
Right to the end, he was worried about his family.
He was an honourable man. I wish more than ever that he was still here.
My mother passed away 12years ago and my eldest brother passed away last year. He left behind a beautiful daughter, who i now look after. I promised i would and i keep my promises.
I now how my eldest sister and a younger brother left from my family.
my heart is breaking and i feel lost and alone without him.
He was not well and i feel selfish and guilty at the same time
I wanted him to stay and for that i feel selfish for wanting that and guilty that i prayed that he would pass away. He was in pain and i wanted him to pass away in his sleep, so he would feel no more pain. I always felt that i was his favourite and sometimes he would drive me crazy with his constant phone calls and now i long for to hear his voice again and to see his face light up when i went to visit.
He would always end a conversation by saying "i love you" and my voice would catch in my throat, frightened that it would be the last time i would hear it - i would always kiss and hug him and say i love you too dad - sometimes i would get angry and leave without saying it, because he would get me cranky for saying something that hurt my feelings, and i would cry at home for being such an ungrateful and awful daughter. BUT he never stopped loving me and I would always ring him ring him to make sure he knew i loved him more than anything in this world. Please God - take care of my family. so that one day i may be with them again.
there hasn't been a day that i haven't cried since he has passed - i cry in the shower and i cry in the car and i cry when i think of him and i cry when i talk about him ......
i am single because there will never be anyone as good as my father - who loved and took care of his family -
gone for now but never forgotten ----- all my love your daughter