Forever Stephanie's mother

by Suzanne

My grief is new..."raw" as others call it. I'm sure you all have heard it before. The words I just read above are so true. I went through all the tough parts of parenting, to have her finally get her life together, becoming successful, only to have her taken away. She died four weeks ago yesterday, at the age of 28. She went in for what was suppose to be routine back surgery to correct two herniated disks and she had a stroke the next morning and was declared brain dead. Because my husband (her dad -although not her father) is a kidney transplant recipient, we knew the only decision was to donate her organs. She helped five people live (we hope and pray) that following Saturday night by using her heart, lungs, liver and both of her kidneys. My constant prayer is that those five are not only healthy and thriving, but that one day they will want to meet me, so that they can know her. She had gotten her AA in elementary education and was working to get her BA. She loved children, and they loved her. This saddens me too because she was single, never married and longed to have a family of her own. She had always been my best friend, but she had blossomed into such a lovely young woman and at the prime of her life, that life was taken. I'm so very sad, as I'm sure all here are. I'm so grateful for anyone to listen to me talk about her. It's my duty in life now to not only promote how wonderful she was in life, but to also promote how wonderful she is in death and by her giving her gift of life, other families are not having to go through what I have. If you are not already an organ donor, please think about it now, in Her honor. Talk to your family about it, let them know your wishes before something happens. She told me everything and I knew this is what she wanted. I love her so much, and miss her everyday.

Comments for Forever Stephanie's mother

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Jul 21, 2012
Forever Stephanie's mother
by: Doreen U.K.

Suzanne, I am sorry for your loss of your beautiful daughter Stephanie. Thank you for telling your story of her courage and strength to go on in life having made the sacrifice of her organ donation that other's may live. This was a truly selfless act of Love.
I am just so very sorry for the pain and grief you have to bear at this moment. It is an awful grief to lose a child. An Adult child with her whole life ahead of her. What was a routine operation went horribley wrong and cost Stephanie her life, and her future. I hope that you are well supported with loving people around you. It makes a differnce otherwise it is a hard journey alone. I hope that you one day get the chance to meet the recipients of Stephanies organ donation. You get the chance to develop a relationship with these people who will never forget your daughter and her Choice to give other's Life that she could not have. What a Sacrifice. It reminds me of Our Lord Jesus Christ who made the ultimate sacrifice for us. So we could have life. And have it more abundantly. May life be kind to you in the future and you be honoured and Loved throughout the days, weeks, months, and years ahead. God Bless You!!

Jul 21, 2012
I Understand Your Pain
by: Aaron's Mom

I'm so very, very sorry for your loss. It sounds like your daughter was a wonderful young woman, full of promise and hope. That's the hardest part, that their dreams were not realized. I lost my 29 year old son five months ago. He went to sleep and didn't wake up due to sleep apnea. I understand your pain so well.

Since your daughter has passed away only four weeks ago, you're probably still in shock, or in that horrible stage of realizing that she is gone from the Earth. There is nothing that anyone can say or do to make this pain go away, but a friend of mine gave me some advice that has really helped me. She lost her son as well.

She told me that when it's quiet, I should talk to my child. She said, it might feel silly, but talk to him as if he is here. Second, she told me to get a notebook and keep a dream journal. If I got up during the night, to write down my dreams, because often we don't remember them in the morning. I cannot express to you how much both of those pieces of advice have helped me.

Lastly, she told me that death is just an illusion. Try to remember, your daughter is always with you, she is THERE right besides you. Look for signs, talk to her, and remember that there are others who are going through the same searing pain you are. Much love to you.

Jul 21, 2012
I'm so sorry for your loss
by: Lynne

I truly am. I know the pain of loving and suddenly losing a daughter. You should be, and are, I know, SO proud of your wonderful girl. What a generous young woman she was.

The days ahead will be hard but take pride and comfort in knowing how she returned the love you gave her to you and others.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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