by Tony

All mothers love their babies, and all babies love their moms.
My love passed may 22 2014. She kept asking me to pray with her and I couldn't because I despise organized religion and I hate any religion, but I also dislike the universal unforgiving natural selection that appears to have put us here to face death thousand years upon thousand years without kindness. Either way we are living hard towards dying which will come.
I told her that it was okay and she could pray.
She knew I didn't like God and religion. She wanted a preacher to talk and pray with her and every preacher or church I contacted really didn't want to visit a dying person on hospice and if they would consider it the persons required me to be converted so I would be a member of their church and also pray with them over the phone which I refused to do.
I finally got a Baptist preacher to visit, she lying on her hospital death bed here at home him entering the room her night-gown was a little high he turned and left the room pointing to her private part. I hurried and covered that area because it didn't appear to me and sexual parts are part of nature for the bathroom not to be offended by like a little kid.
He keeled down and only asked her if she asked Jesus into her heart saying it with a harsh ice cold heart. Then he asked me if I died where would I be. I said it would be up to God. I had to pretend to be religious to get someone to visit her. He said it was sure for him to go to heaven. I always figure God if he exist makes the choice in the end not yourself because you figure repeated a few words someone told you to say. Than he wanted me to go to his church. He said it was time to get back in church. I even said Amen which was completely empty pretending only to get my moms wish fulfilled. He promised to return early the next morning to see her. She died about 3:30 in the morning that morning and he never returned that day to see her, I am guessing no members (control over people) or money for his church discouraged him or the body parts for the bathroom which were not very visible. Just completely childish.
But for her I did visit a prayer web site and asked his army of prayers to pray that she have peace in the end which was a few hours before she passed away which alarmed me because I expected her to live a little longer.
I contacted hospice and cried at the back door looking at the stars. Because I loved mom. No one but me here with her alone, all alone.
I will love you in my thoughts my mom forever.

Comments for Forever

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May 27, 2014
by: Pam

Tony, so sorry for your loss. I lost my Mom last May 2013. I am still reeling from the loss. You can't let people on earth hold you back from God. The Lord is your best comfort during this time. He is there reaching out his arms for you all you have to do is accept. Death is so harsh but when we are saved by Jesus we will all meet again for ever. It is written and promised. Your Mother understood that. Who cares about a selfless so called Preacher. Lift your eyes and arms up high. You will find his comfort and love. I dont know how I would have made it without him. I also ask for blessings for my Mom in Heaven and for myself. I eagerly await the day we can be reunited. Until then I'll smile thinking of memories of her. Good luck.

May 27, 2014
by: Doreen UK

Tony as I read your post again I was filled with anger over how bruised you have been by religion's and the Church.
A very cold clinical approach. I have much experience of what you express. This is not the Spirit of Christ. No wonder you have been put off God and religion. THIS IS LEGALISM.
I have struggled all my life. You have my EMPATHY.
Because of SIN we DIE. We would have had no HOPE in life and when we die that would be the end of our existence. But God put a plan into action. He sent His Son Jesus to die on the cross for us. The ultimate SACRIFICE. So we could be SAVED and have ETERNAL LIFE. And this Life eternal is only in Jesus Christ as we accept Him as our Lord and Saviour and let Jesus live his life in and through us. Jesus changes lives. Many people in churches even Preachers sadly need an encounter with Jesus Christ. He is our Standard for living a right life. We can't do this on our own. I asked God years ago to Heal me from the distortions and Legalism that left me in bondage and misery. God delivered me. I hope that you find the Jesus I know and that your life becomes happier and more fulfilled.

May 26, 2014
by: Doreen UK

Tony I am sorry for your loss of your mom and also for your experience of what God, religion, and death became distorted sometime in your life. Oh so many people have distorted beliefs which can become confusing and very legalistic and devoid of LOVE. Many of us can be hurt and turned away from God by what we experience and observe in "Religion" and "Religious People."
What I have discovered in life is to start with having a relationship with Jesus. He is our Saviour and Redeemer. That is the starting point. We all have a human nature which we will struggle with till eternity. The nearer to we get to the light which is Jesus Christ we will be observant of our imperfections and our need of a Saviour. Having a relationship with Jesus is not the same as being RELIGIOUS. Religion holds nothing but legalism and Rules and if you don't keep them many people can make our lives miserable and put us off religion's. Many people think that everyone who goes to a Church knows Jesus. This is not so. People are still struggling, to know Him and Find Him. People will let us down which is why our standard is Jesus Christ and it is to Jesus that we look to as our "Role Model" for Christianity. Not People.
The Church today has become so commercialised and seems to always demand money to keep their TV organisations going for Air time. This whilst being necessary can also become a burden because of the way it is done. I also thought that God was the one who decides whether we are saved and go to heaven. Because of the distortions I learned. But it is possible for us to know if we are saved. SIMPLE. Jesus calls us to him. We accept him as Our Lord and Saviour and then Jesus goes to work in our hearts taking a lifetime to do a work in us to change us to become like Jesus. This work is of God and not of us. WE can do nothing but to co-operate with God whilst He makes the changes in us. We will make mistakes and get it wrong often because we have sinful natures. This is the work God is doing within us. To make us more like him and to destroy all the legalism that we have absorbed. Look to no man. Look to Jesus. BELIEVE You will see your mother again and she will be saved into eternity. You will see her again and be re-united according to God's promise. It is all in the Bible. This world is going to end one day. This is not our eternal home. It is to come. Do you want to be there? Believe it and prepare for it by accepting Jesus as your Lord and Saviour and Let Him change your life. This is all it takes. BELIEF and Prayer changes hearts and lives. Keep HOPE alive in your heart.

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