Four deaths, one suicide, and our son has been seriously ill

by Kathy
(Chico, Ca, USA)

March of 2012, my husband got word that his grandfather died. We were sad, but it was peaceful and expected. An hour after that we got word that my uncle who we were all close to had shot himself. We had no warning, and no idea. My aunt, who is the strongest and sweetest person in the world was completely deflated. Not long afterward, maybe a few weeks, our 23 year old son started vomiting and didn't stop. He vomited multiple times an hour for two weeks. He was hospitalized and ended up in intensive care. He stopped for about 6 weeks, everything was normal, and then he started again. Over and over again, he vomited for 14 to 19 days and then had a 6 week to 2 month break. Because he is a type 1 diabetic, it was expected this would be some sort of complication, but all tests were coming back negative. He would stabilize enough to come home to our house (he lives on his own with his twin brother), and we would care for him, but he would always end up back in the hospital. When he was home, back rubs especially helped. I stayed with him, stayed calm, and tried to have a sense of humor for him. But he lost so much weight that every time I ran my hands over the bones protruding from his back, I was terrified he was going to die. He is 5'10" and he got under 130lbs each time. The last bout, he was home, and I knew he needed to go back to the hospital. He refused, and said he would go in the morning. I couldn't leave him and couldn't sleep for the dread, so I woke him at midnight and begged him. When we got there his pulse was 190, and they were having trouble taking it, because of low blood volume from dehydration. I don't think he would have made it until morning. In the middle of this, my husband's father and foster mother died within a week of each other. Finally my son was diagnosed with cyclic vomiting syndrome, and put on medication. We were told that we would know the diagnosis was right if it didn't come back, and it didn't for a long time. Then a month ago he had another bout. We had similar symptoms, and almost lost him again, even though this time we were even more careful. Last week my husband told me he wasn't sure he wanted to be married to me anymore, even though we've always been very happy. We are going to counseling. I think he is just burnt out from grief and desperate for things to be different. I think we will make it, but of course it is one more blow to me that I'm not sure I can get through. My husband has long been my lover, and my best friend. We have 6 kids, ages 17 to 25. Every night I lay in bed and have trouble sleeping because of an overwhelming terror that I will lose one, or that they aren't safe. I'm afraid most of the time, but I still go about my business being everyone's rock. I might also mention that I am in my last year of a masters program, and have maintained good standing through all of this. I'm so scared. I'm so afraid. I'm so tired.

Comments for Four deaths, one suicide, and our son has been seriously ill

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Jan 14, 2014
Four deaths, one suicide, and our son has been seriously ill
by: Doreen UK

I am so sorry for all the trials and losses that have come upon you and caused you to feel despair.
Often one is stretched to breaking point and this can be overwhelming if you don't know God. Often God allows trial to come into our life to draw us close to him. Job in the Bible was afflicted beyond what any man has suffered. He trusted God and God gave him back all he lost, and more. Today God works differently. We may not get our loved one's back, who have passed away. But God has ways of Blessing us that we can't comprehend. I am glad you are in counselling and that your husband is not resisting this. Men handle crises' different to a woman. Often many a woman is the strong one in the family. PERHAPS. This is the problem. Some men don't like a strong woman. They like to be the strong one. BUT. Saying this. Often this role is forced upon a woman because she is the one who is the force behind the family whilst the man is off working long days to care for his family. It is not uncommon for many men to feel frustrated by life's events and want out. BUT is he wanting out of the marriage for the right reason's. What has he got in his life to replace HIS FAMILY. That will give him something to think about and you may get the answers you need. Seek God through Prayer for healing for your son's VOMITING. This doesn't sound right. You can find strength in God to carry on living. Thank God your children are mostly grown up and able to live independent lives. CONGRATULATIONS! in doing further studies and getting your MASTER'S. Such an achievement along with rearing 6 children. Often a woman can lose who they are when they have brought up a large family and devoted all of themselves to this task. You don't seem to be this type by studying and moving forward. Build on this and don't let anyone interfere in your own value and self esteem. This is now YOUR TIME. Perhaps you have earned a good long vacation to help you recover from LIFE and all it's trials. Often this can be like a breath of fresh air. I hope your son continues to improve in health and that you Pray for God's protection of their lives and the whole family. I pray you go from strength to strength and life get's better. You will grow stronger from life's trials. But fractures in the family do happen when death occurs in the family. Best wishes.

Jan 13, 2014
The Lord is my strength
by: Anonymous

Listen you are a very strong women, and I am sad to here all the tragedies in your family, but I hope you believe in GOD. I lost my husband to Leukemia 1 yr. 10 months ago, and I still grieve, but what has gotten me strong, is that 1 he is always around me 2 the Lord keeps me strong. Your husband needs to get in good with the Lord, because sounds like he wants the easy way out, no disrespect here, but you are everyone's rock as you put it, but who is your rock. I will tell in one word GOD the almighty, he will pull you through this. Just have faith, hope, and love, and ask the Lord to guide in this moments of need. I really hope that you stay strong, with the Lord, because for now that is all that I can give you for advise. Trust in him, he will give you the strength through out all this.
I will pray for you, that the Lord puts his hands on your entire family, and may the blood of Jesus be put on you for protection. GOD bless for now.

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