Four years down the drain

I met this guy about 4 years ago and he was great he loved life and let me be myself accepted my kids 3 girls and he had a son also. There would be times I admit that we fought over stupid stuff and Im a woman so yes I get jealous everyone once in a while. See he was a Dj and DJ at the local bars in our town so we would go to the bar quite often and I would do my best to help him out and we were having fun. He also was in School for Computer Networking and I wanted to go back to school for Criminal Justice. See He was my mentor and best friend and basicly someone I looked to. In that time of being with him I grew as a person and as a parent. I went to school got my Two year degree and graduated in September 2013 and that was a proud moment for me and my family. He support me Just like I supported him. I mean I did absolutely everything for this guy. I was there for him when his appendix almost burst, I was there when his grandma died, and other things. My family loved him and his family love me and my girls. I know Ive made some mistakes in our relationship but hes made some too. Sometimes he would call me nasty names or my kids. Well about the 2-3rd year in our relationship we accumulated his nephew and my boyfriend is in the process of adopting him right now. Well to make a long story short I have gotten attached to the little boy and my stepson and my girls really like the guy I was seeing. Well after fours years of being with him i fell hard for him but he looked at me two weeks ago and tells me he doesnt have those feelings for me and that he was just basically keeping me on the line, but 2 months ago he tells me he has feelings for me. Doesnt make any sense does it? Now I find out that hes like his sister friend for 6 years and as he said it an opportunity has arose and he is taking it. Im hurt and heartbroken and well I hope he reaps what he sews because I would have done anything for this guy. So Now im having to up my life again and my kids life so he can follow his **cker to greener pastures. Will he regret this one day? I will always love him no matter what!! Help

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Nov 06, 2014
Thank you
by: Anonymous

Thank you for the advice and Ive been looking at my self in the last week and ive been focusing strictly on me and my kids and doing my own thing lately and im even going to look at a place this weekend for me and my children by my best friends place. Shes been there for me completely and I am completely grateful to her. I have stop contact with him basically and I stopped doing things for him so he doesn't feel like hes gotten the best of me and thinks he is the center of my world. Because my kids are and they deserve better and I deserve better. Im going to let my heart heal and take care of just us. Now that I have no been speaking with him or bending over backwards for him i know hes starting to see that interdependence and is not liking it but oh well for him he lost out on what could have been a good thing and he will reap what he sows. Im living like for me and my kids and no one will ever stand in the way of that again!!
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Nov 05, 2014
Four years down the drain
by: Doreen UK

I don't see this as 4yrs. down the drain. It was a very significant 4yrs. that gave meaning and value to your life, and made you and your family happy.
Life changed him somewhere down the line and ended the happy family unit you were.
We all live with some regrets in life, and I guess he will also regret some decisions he made. He may have found what he was looking for, and he found it from being in relationship with you. HARD ON YOU. But if you FOCUS on what he meant to you, and how he blessed your life you will take some value with you out of that relationship.
One of the most painful moments of our life is from being in relationship with someone which ended with them either dying, or walking away from us.
Nothing we go through in life's experiences is ever wasted. We can see it this way or let it be the springboard to help us on our way to a better life. There will be some people who pass through our lives and we wish they could stay forever, and they are like ships in the night just passing through. It is what we take from the experience that will help to make us BITTER or BETTER.
You can't undo what happened. You couldn't have changed his mind. He made a decision that hurt you deeply, and your family.
Turn this tragedy into a triumph and let it help you to make a better life for yourself with boundaries that will help you heal and move forward and find love again in your life. You will become wiser and stronger from the place you are in now and you will SURVIVE. This is what we do when we can't find the answers we need to take away the HURT. You have children who need you. Put your energies and focus there and find the strength there to go on each day. TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME. Let yourself Heal.

Nov 04, 2014
And good Riddance.
by: Anonymous

You love a man who calls you and your children names?!! what are you thinking? Your job us to protect your children from such abuse. Get your self esteem back and stop putting your children on the back burner while you miss some jerk who dumped you. Stop trying to love your way into his life but love yourself back in your own life and take care of your children only. You are wasting your precious children's time that belongs to them. You dont have time to adopt another person.
He is not going to come back and you must put your children first. Don't even worry about what his life is going to be like and Dont' let them your children see you sit around and miss a jerk. You'll teach them it's okay to be treated like dirt.
Yeah, it hurts to know that no matter what you will do is not cared about.

I hope you see the light and get going on improving you.

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