Freya, my beloved child, Odin, Child of my soul, and Marley, my whee whee girl
On 1-31-12 I lost Freya to congestive heart failure. She had been born on 6-18-01, the last of 6 puppies. The other 5 had been born into my hands, Not Freya, she was late. Her mother Kyrie had settled down with her litter and I drifted off to sleep listening to her father Odin sniffing at the door. Something woke me a couple hours later and and there she was on the floor of the closet with the sack off of her butt, but not her head. She was still and not moving. I gentley removed the sack from her body and swung her gentley to remove the amniotic fluid. I rubbed her briskly and she began to squirm and whimper. I knew she was mine. Freya was a red heeler. I treated her for her heart condition for 4 months. I put her to sleep when her breathing became labored. Freya was a runner. She loved to run with the car with her brother Jake, her mother Kyrie, and her father Odin. She had a strong pack drive. I have tears rolling down my face as I write this. I will always miss her.
On 3-5-12 Odin had a stroke. I came home from college, sat down, heard a strange noise down the hallway, Kyrie charged down there, and I went to see what had happened. Odin had collapsed. I immediately knew what had happened. I called the vet and gave him an asprin which he vomitted up. I called for support and went to the vet to put him to sleep. My regular vet was not there. The on call vet thought he had vestibular disease which is an inner ear condition. Desperate, I was relieved. I took him home. For 4 days I force fed him and forced pedi-lite down him. He never recovered. I put him to sleep. I was so devestated I was suicidal. He was almost 15. He was blind. He had had gluacoma and by the time he was 7 I had had both his eyes removed. He was incredible. Until he was 12 I could still run him with the car. He could still fetch. He did not get lost. He was not disabled. He was my soul dog...
On 6-7-12 I put Marley to sleep. My doxie pom. Marley had had seizures and was only moderately managed by medication. She was 8. She was sick all the time. She seized often. I believe she was suffering from dementia. She was suffering. Today is the 19th of june and I am still in shock over Marley. I feel guilt for ending her life. I feel graeful that she is no longer suffering. She was my pocket pet, my whee whee girl.
I am crazy with grief. 3 within 6 months is too much. Jake turned 11 yesterday and I freaked out knowing that I will loose him too. Kyrie will be 13 on 8-13. Nobody understands the intensity of feelings. I am literally falling apart. I don't know where to turn. I feel helpless and hopeless. Alone and filled with despair. I never had children and my dogs are my life, and now they are gone. Time takes time as they say. I wish I could sleep until the pain was diminished.