Freya, my beloved child, Odin, Child of my soul, and Marley, my whee whee girl

by Kimmy

On 1-31-12 I lost Freya to congestive heart failure. She had been born on 6-18-01, the last of 6 puppies. The other 5 had been born into my hands, Not Freya, she was late. Her mother Kyrie had settled down with her litter and I drifted off to sleep listening to her father Odin sniffing at the door. Something woke me a couple hours later and and there she was on the floor of the closet with the sack off of her butt, but not her head. She was still and not moving. I gentley removed the sack from her body and swung her gentley to remove the amniotic fluid. I rubbed her briskly and she began to squirm and whimper. I knew she was mine. Freya was a red heeler. I treated her for her heart condition for 4 months. I put her to sleep when her breathing became labored. Freya was a runner. She loved to run with the car with her brother Jake, her mother Kyrie, and her father Odin. She had a strong pack drive. I have tears rolling down my face as I write this. I will always miss her.
On 3-5-12 Odin had a stroke. I came home from college, sat down, heard a strange noise down the hallway, Kyrie charged down there, and I went to see what had happened. Odin had collapsed. I immediately knew what had happened. I called the vet and gave him an asprin which he vomitted up. I called for support and went to the vet to put him to sleep. My regular vet was not there. The on call vet thought he had vestibular disease which is an inner ear condition. Desperate, I was relieved. I took him home. For 4 days I force fed him and forced pedi-lite down him. He never recovered. I put him to sleep. I was so devestated I was suicidal. He was almost 15. He was blind. He had had gluacoma and by the time he was 7 I had had both his eyes removed. He was incredible. Until he was 12 I could still run him with the car. He could still fetch. He did not get lost. He was not disabled. He was my soul dog...
On 6-7-12 I put Marley to sleep. My doxie pom. Marley had had seizures and was only moderately managed by medication. She was 8. She was sick all the time. She seized often. I believe she was suffering from dementia. She was suffering. Today is the 19th of june and I am still in shock over Marley. I feel guilt for ending her life. I feel graeful that she is no longer suffering. She was my pocket pet, my whee whee girl.
I am crazy with grief. 3 within 6 months is too much. Jake turned 11 yesterday and I freaked out knowing that I will loose him too. Kyrie will be 13 on 8-13. Nobody understands the intensity of feelings. I am literally falling apart. I don't know where to turn. I feel helpless and hopeless. Alone and filled with despair. I never had children and my dogs are my life, and now they are gone. Time takes time as they say. I wish I could sleep until the pain was diminished.

Comments for Freya, my beloved child, Odin, Child of my soul, and Marley, my whee whee girl

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Jun 20, 2012
Lost my pets
by: Doreen England U.K.

Dear Kimmy
I am sorry for the loss of your pet dogs. Pets leave a grief with us that is different from a human soul and the pain is difficult to bear all alone. I hope you have someone to share your pain otherwise it will overun you and feel horrenduous. I know the pain of grief feels as if it is all consuming and we will not recover from it as it is unbearable. You are facing the first stages of grief and you will feel as if your world is falling apart. You have past the numb stage and now feeling the full throes of grief. Feeling helpless and hopeless, and filled with despair unable to cope and wondering where to go from here. This website is supportive to people who are feeling as you do and understand. I suggest if you are unable to go on feeling as you do that you reach out to a counsellor as you do need outside help. You cannot grieve alone. It is too much for you. You have sustained a loss and this is what bereavement counsellors are there for. To support you whilst you work through your loss. It works. Don't give up. Life will get better for all of us even though it doesn't feel like it is now. It has to otherwise grief would kill us. I hope you are able to able to receive help and able to move forward better without the awful pain of your loss. Best wishes.

Jun 20, 2012
I'm sorry for your pain Kimmy
by: Susie

Kimmy, I too am an animal lover..Unfortunately, I found this site a few weeks ago because my youngest son was killed in a horrific accident at work on May 11, 2012. He was a truck driver and picking up a load of hay and the loader crushed him with a wall of hay bales thinking the trailer was empty. I feel the despair and pain too. We have to keep going. If we can all get through our unbearable days together, knowing that I care and every person who reads your post cares..I know it will be hard but you have to remember how you nurtured and loved Freya, Odin and Marley your whee whee girl and they loved you and knew they were loved. When we dare to love our pets, we do it knowing that their life spans are so darn short, so when they leave us, we feel somehow as if we should have done more. You went above and beyond loving them and you have to be strong. I will be thinking of you and hoping that you feel better each day. The world is a better place because of people like you who love their pets so very much.

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