From July 2010-April 2 2011

Im not sure where to start....In July I lost my sister~in~law, she was one of my best friends, She lived in another state so we didn't get to see her much but I did talk to her often, then in January we lost my Brother~in~law (they were my husbands siblings) , then in April my son lost the love of his life...and some think that just because he was 16 that he didn't know what love was, he did and she was it, to suicide at age 14. The grief we are all going through is so much that we just don't talk about it!...When my son's girlfriend died it was the hardest to take! She was so young and such a shock. She was always happy and smiling. We could not understand the WHY. As time has passed we've come to realize that the "why" would never be answered. We are not allowed to show any form of mourning for her as we were told we didn't have the right, it was about her friends and her family not us..but we loved her like she was our own daughter...they were together almost 24/7 and for just shy of a year! I have no idea what to do with all the pain I feel for her loss, I just know that as time goes on it takes alot more energy to suppress it. My husbands family has basically said that I have mourned completely wrong so I don't even talk to them about it either. I feel more alone then ever and have basically turned my feelings off to please everyone else. I just miss them all more then words can express and if it was up to others involved I wouldn't even be allowed to grieve at all! Thank you so much for your time :)....writing about it sure does help.

Sincerely,
Completely heart broken!

Comments for From July 2010-April 2 2011

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Oct 12, 2011
Don't let ANYONE (including me) tell you How to Grieve
by: Hope

Yes writing sure does help. I also journaled much the first year and still do. As far as someone telling you that you are grieving wrong you have the right to tell them to blow it out their #$%^&*

However being more civilized just realize that people say a lot of idiot things during grieving.....Things that really cut like a knife at the time. Certain things like time heals all wounds is actually true but only to an extent. The wound never heals completely but you learn to work around it as if it were an actual wound to your leg lets say and you learned to walk with what you had.

What we have is a new life, we can not go back to the old life ever and somehow in time we adapt. Personally I think that acceptance was the hardest part of grief. Just as I had gotten used to the agonizing pain of grief was to try and release it. To start to live again and that was tough.

I still Miss My Hubby, Always will but I am much better, the pain is no longer searing. Just a pang of memory now and then, A tear or two unexpected because we all think that this is a linear thing that progresses in a straight line. But there are many ups and downs the roller coaster of grief. So come here, come as often as you like and we will always welcome you with open arms. The people here are great and saved my sanity many a time...
HH

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