From T to W
He is 25 years younger than I am. When we met I railed against any relationship occurring with this young man and I was certainly not a 'cougar'. I rejected him possibly 20 times over the course of 18 months. He didn't stop trying however. Then one afternoon, I said yes, for reasons I would like to keep private, but also to help him get over the idea of me, a middle-aged female, and a relationship I knew was just a fantasy in his head.
Turns out he was right and I was wrong. Love knows no age. It just doesn't care.
The first time I saw him again, I took one look and thought, my goodness, what have I been thinking. He is an extremely beautiful young man. And as I got to know him I realised he was just as beautiful inside.
The next six months after that changed me for ever. Everything I held as truth about relationships and love have been completely shattered. He is the love of my pathetic life and now that he is gone I know I won't love again.
The end came quite suddenly. Neither of us announced it. It was not expected. He hit an emotional wall and fell into it. I left him to have his space but then the space grew and grew...... there was no way to communicate.
There are now people around me telling me how it was all in my head, but I am a big girl and I know it was the real thing, that he loves me too, in the same way, and that sometimes circumstances pull people apart. I feel life has taken us in other directions, but I want to say this. I love you deeply, W. And always, always will. Thank you for persisting and teaching me what love really is and what it isn't.
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