Full of emotions...My beautiful angel....I miss her
I lost my mother a year ago to Alzheimer's disease. She passed away on January 10, 2013. It was truly the most painful day of my life because that was the very last time I would see her.It was hard to let her go. All I could do was hug her and cry...I didn't want to let go. And now, even if a year has passed I still have those recurring thoughts of her lifeless body, of her funeral, of her very last days. It is still as emotional to me now as it was on the day that she passed. Some days are better than others. Other days I am completely overwhelmed by her death. I try my best to talk to my friends which is difficult because I don't want to be a burden to anyone by being an emotional wreck all of the time. However, I don't want to go through this alone either. It has gotten worse over the last year and I'm beginning to feel as if I'm never going to get pass this. When I'm thinking about her I tend to isolate myself from everyone and everything. Things I used to be passionate about I'm not that passionate about anymore. Every accomplishment in my life after her death means little or nothing to me (at times) because she is not here with me to share my good news with her. Everyone always tell me that she knows and sees everything I do and that she is one of my angels watching over me and yes, I feel a sense of comfort just knowing that. However, it is still difficult knowing that physically I can't hug her and kiss her and talk to her. I pray everyday that I am able to be strong and to accept things that I can't change. I know that God not only hear my prayers but everyone who has and is still coping with the loss of a loved one. All I know how to do is to take it one day at a time. Even in the midst of my very sad days I try to remember all of the good things about her and cope but it is still extremely difficult because at the same time I feel like a piece of me is missing. And that there is nothing I can do to fill that void. I know she wouldn't want me to feel this way, after all she was the happiest most carefree, beautiful person I knew and I wouldn't have asked for a better role model. She would want me to be happy but some days I'm not. Most of my days are just full of emotion. I just miss her and love her soooooooo much....She was the best mother any girl could ask for.....