GAMBLING DESTROYED YOUR LIFE
My precious mum died recently. I am all that is left of her sad life.
At three years old she was left on the street by a bailiff - homeless. So it came as no surprise to her even as a child that her mum and sister died young.
Mum passed all her exams but left school early as she was so poor.
My father managed to repeat the sad pattern and mum lost the first home she bought.
I am left so sad without her - it is not just the trauma of facing every day without alone but since I have been sorting her photos and documents all her broken dreams have resurfaced.
Just when she could have enjoyed her retirement she became very ill and was snatched from me after picking up a hospital virus. Was my love enough for this beautiful person after such grief ? Before her death she confidided in me having to abort a younger sibling because she had no where to turn. Mum had carried the unhappiness of this with her for years with no-body to confide in - she told me she made this decision which she regretted - as she did not want me to go into care.
That baby might have been the sister I never had and would have understood my despair. I do not blame mum but the awful circumstances she found herself in.
I cry all the time for a wonderful mum who never had a chance of happiness. Was my love enough to take away some of her pain?