Gary - The love of my life

by Julie
(Ohio)

I lost my husband on January 27, 2010. He was diagnosed in October 2009 with terminal lung cancer. They gave him max a year with chemo and radiation. So in December 2009 he started his treatments. Everything went downhill from that point. He had so many complications and never had a good quality of life from that point on. But he never gave up and gave it his all.

On the evening of January 27th, 2010, with me by his side, he lost his battle. I am so lost without him. We were so close and did everything together. Everything happened so fast and he was taken so quickly. I didn't get to say to him all the things I wanted to say to him.

I seem ok on the outside to family and friends, but when I'm alone that is when I fall apart. I just want to hold him again and tell him I love him. But the reality is settling in that he is never going to walk through that door again.

That is so hard to accept. We were married for 10 great years and had a great life together. He was only 61 years old. Way too young. How do I hold together and keep the pieces together? If anyone knows what I'm going through please give me some encouragement.

Comments for Gary - The love of my life

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Sep 04, 2010
I understand
by: Michele

I lost my Richard to lung cancer on May 26, 2010. He lived almost 2 years after his initial diagnosis, and I'm grateful for that. He only felt really sick the last couple months. His sisters, five of them, took turns living with us, but Richard wanted me there, so I took leave from work. I wish I'd done it sooner. You always think they'll be more time. I wonder now, if he knew that he was near the end. I should have known; I was in denial. He was 62, just turned.

I still cry all the time. I went to grief counseling a couple days ago, but I don't think anyone can say anything to make it better.

I used to call him every day during my lunch. I don't expect to do that anymore, so that's one thing.

Feb 16, 2010
been there
by: Rose (Hamden, CT)

I know what you mean. I lost my husband, 63, on Oct. 20, 2009, literally at my feet from a heart attack. See my blog, "So Sudden, So Soon". We were married for 38 years--I met him when I was 14. We did everything together, he was my best friend. I cry almost every day. They say it gets better, but I don't feel it. Get some counseling. That's what I am trying. It helps to talk to strangers.

Feb 16, 2010
My Darling Joe
by: Jennifer

Hello-

I do know what you are going through. My dear husband, Joe, died of lung cancer also. He died on Christmas Eve 2009 at only 38 years old. It is certainly an unreal feeling. We were married for 17 years and I have a teenage daughter. It was about 10 months between the time he was diagnosed and the time he passed on. Sometimes it seemed so long, because he suffered so much; and other times, it seems unbearably short.

I miss him so much sometimes, I feel like I can't breathe. I think that we all want "one more hug, one more moment, etc", but we know that would never be enough. For me, the only encouragement I can give is knowing that my Joe is no longer suffering- and I don't mean just with the cancer. I mean, in this world-filled with ugliness and sin.

He is with me now more than ever because he can love perfectly now. Also, it may sound silly, but it must get better. Other people do it, so it must. I try to be grateful for his life and know that we are walking in God's will for us. You will be in my prayers.

Blessings,
Jennifer

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