I lost my son at 8 months. He was a victim of a botched caesarean delivery. Inside of the same year I lost my Dad who was my hero and the greatest man I've known. Recently I lost my brother--my best friend at age 38 and my sister at 41. A son, a father, a brother& a sister before I was 40.
When I was little I was a victim of my moms munchousen by proxy and burned twice (my scalp when I was a baby an over 30% of my body ..3rd degree burns when i was 3. My brother was my only defender and he got into many fights with kids who taunted me. I blame myself for his death by alcohol because he had very bad childhood memories because of me :(
How does one get thru life without agony enveloping every moment?