Glad it's over

by Ms Mack
(Chicago)

Feeling very sad and lonely today more than New Years eve. Can't believe I made it through that one! I can't get the love of my lifetime out of my head. I ran around the house packing up all evidence of a "Merry Christmas" and glad it's over. I'm so tired of hiding this pain it's unbearable so thank God I have all of you listen to my venting.

Why some days good, some very bad? Today is one of those I just want to hug the love of my life. He was a beautiful man and shouldn't gave been taken. If anything, he loved life. I want to feel better and can't find a space to get it done....no matter what I do. I pray for all of us, for strength, and a healthy, happy 2011! With much needed prayers,
Ms Mack

Comments for Glad it's over

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Jan 02, 2011
Life is short...
by:

I can only think of one good thing about grief. It is the feeling that life is too short.

Too short to listen to trivial B.S.

Too short to grumble about who does what and how unfair life can be.

Too short not to tell those I Love that I Love them.

Too short to allow the past to ruin my future.
(let it go)

Too short to let fear stop me from doing the things that I always wanted to do.

Too short to lay blame, feel guilt, or have heavy regret riding my shoulder.

Too short because I need to Live not just survive.
HH

Jan 02, 2011
glad it's over
by: Mari

I agree with you Margaret. We have to grieve and we don't have to hold it in. After all that is the only way out of it. I feel much better today. I slept well too. I am praying for you Mrs Mack. You just need time. You have us too whenever you need anyone to talk to.

Today is church and I am preparing macaroni salad for the church fellowship dinner this evening. My church brothers and sisters have helped me so much.

We just have to take one day at a time. God is always there. Take care. Mari

Jan 02, 2011
Let it go...
by: Margaret

You never want to hide your grief. When I decided that it was my life and I would grieve as I pleased life became so much easier! I feel your pain as do so many others! If it had not been for prayer and my church I would of been worse, I hate the look of
"Oh no she is crying again", but that's what healed me and still is!

Vent all you need, that is one thing I love about this site, love to you.

Margaret

Jan 02, 2011
glad it is over
by: Mari

I am sorry for the way you are feeling. I felt the same way too. I remembered how my husband and I always went out to eat at our favorite place and how fun it was. I was lonely at church last night because there were so many couples there together.
I believe we just need time. Holidays are the worst.
I have good days too. There are good days because I have so many grandchildren and church activities. But I have down days where I long for my husband and look at his picture. I am not sure why some days are so bad and others alright.
I know that the busier I am, the better for me.
It just takes time. I realize that life will never be the same but we can heal. I feel like I am living a different lifetime. I am not sure I like that feeling. I am reminded of him every day. I pray a lot. I look at his picture and even talk to him saying I love him and always will. Take care of yourself. We are here for you.

Jan 01, 2011
So Glad it's over
by: Pat J

I'm with you. I made it through Christmas (barely) feeling numb. I emailed my friend some pictures we took and she said she could see the pain in my eyes. I tried to smile. New Year's eve was bad but waking up this morning and facing 2011 without my husband is something that I find to be unbearable. He's only been gone 4 weeks and I just don't know what I'm going to do without him. I think I was totally numb for three weeks, now the reality is slowly setting in.
I pray for all of us who are grieving and will remember you Ms Mack in my prayers. Happy 2011 ~ or as happy as we can be.

Jan 01, 2011
3 holidays down how many to go?
by:

I wish I had your ooomph to pack the Christmas stuff up. It is like a burn that I do not want to touch. I did not want it out/up to begin with. I look at it knowing I have to pack it up and hide it from myself for another year. My Love died just before last Christmas, so it is a particularly rough time.

I do wonder if Christmas, New Years, our Anniversary, Valentines Day and all the other holidays will stop hurting. I do not expect them to be special anymore, just not to be excruciating painful would be fine. If I could experience it as just another day it would be an accomplishment.

I am glad that it is over too.
HH

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