Go on, go on!

by Alassia

Go on, go on...

Everyone expects this of us: everyone says we have to 'go on’! What does it mean? Why, why, why must it be like this? I find myself silently screaming this question every day.

Go on – why do we have to? I don’t want to. I’m so tired. I don’t want to live in this empty world anymore.
And go on - with what? Without our loved one? With our dreams shattered? Without the future we had planned together? With no future?

‘One step at a time’, is often quoted...one step to where?

I’ve read so much about learning to live with the ‘new reality’ and about going on with our loved ones tucked in our hearts...I don’t want him tucked in my heart. I want to be with him!

I find I’m ‘living’ in two parallel worlds. I wake each morning and with each dawn, I discover again that he is dead: he’s not coming back! It’s not the bad dream I keep expecting to come out of. My darling always woke me gently (I’m not a morning person) with a cup of coffee, in bed. Now I wait until the last minute, dive into the shower and leave the house – without that coffee. In my external world, I go to work - as usual; I laugh and joke - as usual. At the end of the working day, reality kicks in – relentlessly. I cry all the way home...

It has been just over a year since my beloved husband died. Why do I have to go on without him?

Comments for Go on, go on!

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Aug 04, 2013
Don't fall for false belief
by: Pennie

Dear Janice and Doreen, Thank you both so much for your comments; I couldn't have said it any better.My Husband went to be with Jesus last Dec. and I just miss him teribly.Most days I don't know how to go on but knowing I will see him again gets me through each day.Jesus said "Therefore I tell you, whatsoever you ask in prayer,believe that you have received it, and it will be yours" Mark 11:24.My one and only desire is to be with my husband in heaven and I believe we will be together; no questions asked!!!I have been reading books on Heaven and they are so comforting.I just really appreciate your words Janice;I too believe my husband and I will be closest friends in eternity next to Jesus. Thank you again.

Aug 04, 2013
Don't fall for false belief
by: Doreen U.K.

Janice I believe 100% of what you have said is TRUE. Thank you for putting this post reply so perfectly. We will know our loved one's in eternity. We will have such a pure love for each other that is not tainted with sin as here on earth. The body and spirit will never die. God will be there with us. After the 1000yrs. Millenium and the judgement has taken place and people who have rejected Jesus have decided their fate by their CHOICE. God will establish a new kingdom that will come down out of heaven onto a new purified earth and God will establish this new kingdom where the saved will build and plant as they did here. There will be no decay as we behold on earth. We will know our loved ones' as we were meant to before sin entered the earth and we will have pure relationships. Our love will be purified from sin so we will love our loved one's better. As God designed. Hold onto this belief it will keep you living each day for this future to come when Jesus comes back for those who have accepted him as their Lord and Saviour and desire this life. It is a free gift. You don't have to earn it you just have to be in right relationship with God and live as He wants us to live.

Aug 03, 2013
Don't fall for false belief
by: Janice

My husband & soulmate Jim, died Feb 5, 2013. It is 6 months now & the only thing that is keeping me going is knowing that we WILL be together again. I don't know where people get the belief that either they won't know their loved ones or that they will not have a special love for them that is different than it is for others. NOWHERE in the Bible does it say that! God made us for relationships. Not only with Him, but with others also, He created families!. Jesus was closer to some disciples than He was to others. David, Moses, Noah, Elijah, Elisha all had an extra special place in God's heart. There is nothing that can make me believe that my husband will be not be my closest friend after Jesus. Adam & Eve walked (together)in the garden with God. I don't understand people who think God has changed His plan for us. When we were created He said it was VERY GOOD. He will be making a new earth & a new heaven (which will come down & be on earth). His plan is still for us to live together in paradise & for Him to be our God & for us to be his children. We will not be floating around on clouds playing harps! God is the same yesterday, today & forever, He does not change and neither has His plan. If anything, He will make things better not worse. How horrible it would be if we were not with our loved ones in eternity. Even though bad things happen in this life, God will make all things new and better in the next. Even though there will be no marriage, since we won't need to procreate, we will still have relationships with our loved ones that will be pure love. Please hang on to that - you WILL SEE & KNOW & LOVE your spouse on the other side.

Jul 31, 2013
by: Anonymous

hello to you all who are grieving the loss of someone you loved so much.
On July 21st 2008 life as I knew it came to a screeching stop with a few words,"Larry was in an accident and did not make it." Words that will haunt me the rest of my life. We had just celebrated our 36th anniversary on the 15th. Our plans were to travel when we retired on our bike or in the camper. Well 5 years later the camper and bike have both been sold. I go to work like because I have to. I do laugh now and do the things some people expect but my heart is broken and nothing is normal and never will be again. I am lonely and lost without him. I can not make any decisions or seem to move on. I don't wear my rings anymore. I can't. My fingers begin swelling and I took them off becuase I feared losing them. after the 5th year I pulled them out and tried to wear them. Still can't! makes me sad...I do believe in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and I do a lot of praying. i know He has walked with me in this valley and He still continues to do that. I did get into a greif group and I also see a Christian counselor. I do think it has helped some. It helped to know I really was not going crazy like I first thought. I found out others have these same thoughts and feelings. yes, every grief is different because every person is different. i never knew "quiet could be so very loud!!" I hated the lonliness 5 years ago and I still hate it now. I feel so empty inside and my heart is still very broken. I pray regularly for all the widows and widowers in the world so I do pray for all of you. I married him when I was 16 and was 19 so I grew up with him. I love him and miss him every day. We just all have to do the next thing whatever that next thing is. Take care of yourselves. again, like the rest of you our minds are jumbled so this comment is probably jumbled. If so forgive me I am still grieving!

May 22, 2013
I entirely agree with you
by: Ayami from Japan

Dear Alassia,
I lost my husband 2 months ago. I cry so much for him. I don't want to go on. I keep asking "Why do I have to?". Just like you do.
My sister-in-law says "My brother is with God now. He forgets you, your kids etc... He doesn't remember anything. He will not be here, 'coz he is with God." But I want to believe that he is with us. I want to believe he watchs and hears us.
You are not alone. We get through together.

May 14, 2013
Go on, go on
by: Pennie

Dear Silver, I enjoyed reading your comment. I too talk to my husband. Every day I write him a note on my ipad first thing in the morning. There is a note app and it records them. I so strongly believe that my husband watches over me and hears me. I cry so much for him. I want to be with him so badly!!! He was (and is) the love of my life. There will never be another. Love and strength to you also

May 13, 2013
go on go on
by: silver

Don't pay any attention to nay sayers.Those who haven't been there don't know.I was one of those people in a way.My father died Dec.2009.I couldn't understand why my mother didn't go back to being with her friends--she bowled once a week up until my dad went into the hospital the last time.UNTIL IT HAPPENED TO ME.My mom(82 yrs old)died 7 months after my dad and 11 months later my husband died.I was in shock.I kept getting comments like,"You are so strong....I was surprised how well you handled things...etc."I did until the 15month mark then I lost it.I cried hard every day for 2 weeks and made myself so sick I ended up in the hospital(please don't do that--it's not fun)I am beginning to be able to handle things now...slowly.I have been told that the average time of grief is 1-2 yrs.I think that is the rough times and then it begins to get easier.My darling husband used to say,"it never goes away,it just gets easier" I talk to him often.I know he sees and hears me.If I didn't feel like I would see him again it would be much harder.Keep the memories alive.That has helped me a lot.GOD send you strength and peace.I send you love and support

May 06, 2013
Our Own personal Hell
by: Anonymous

Each and every one of us are going thru our own personal Hell--because of losing our loved ones. I find it helpful to know that I am not the only one going thru this and I am not feeling sorry for myself or going crazy!
My husband died 5 weeks ago and I have felt like I want to kill myself and die! I miss him so much, felt and still feel like it is a very bad nightmare and what am I going to do without him?? He was my purpose in life, some to love, talk to, hold, be there, everything! now it is all gone and we will never see them again--ever! Even in Heaven--we will see them but will not know who they are-just that they are someone special to us. How devastating to know this--I want to see my earthly husband again and run up and hug and kiss him!! not to happen.
But I can see where I am getting a little better with lots of help from my sisters and my church! without my church--I would not grow or get better at all!! If you don't have a church--find one and talk to the Pastor and Prayer Team. Believe it does help---but nothing is going to take away the empty space, pain, the tears, hurt,everything we are going thru--except time. But we are blessed we had such wonderful husbands that loved us and we loved them that we have these memories of them. Not all ladies can say that. So--I know it don't help much, but hold that to your hearts and memories. They will forever be in your memories and hearts. I still cry almost every day at least once--but I know my hubby would not want me to be sad.
But it is just plain not fair to him to lose his life so soon!!! He was only 66 yrs old!!! I still ask why God did this---but he had his reasons--I have to hold onto that. we all do
good luck and hang in there--we can together.

May 06, 2013
Go on for what?
by: Pennie

Alassia and everyone else..This has to be the worse thing any of us have had to endure.This is the saddest time of my life and I'm sure for you also. Most days I just want to die. I hate getting up in the morning and facing the day without the love of my life. The mornings are what I fear the most..Just starting the day without Dennie.He was always there..always and after 40 years how do I or any of us get past that? I manage to get through the day and then it's night time and I have to go to bed without my husband by my side.What on earth are we going to do? I have no desire what so ever to keep on living. Thanks for listening and God bless

May 05, 2013
What do we do?
by: Pennie

Alassia and everyone else. Just needed to talk to someone who understands what I am going through and all of you do for you are going through the same agony and lonliness. What do we do? I don't want to go one; I want to be with my husband as all of you want to be with yours.I hate getting up in the morning.I stay in bed as long as I can so I don't have to go out in the living room and face not seeing my husband.Then the dreaded day begins!What a nightmare.Some people think I should get a dog like that is going to solve my problems.I am so lonely for him.Don't you just wish you could go back and do everything differently? And then night time comes and I stay on the couch as long as possible so I don't have to face going to bed by myself. I hate that too!!I cannot believe this is happening to me.OMG I am so lonely and I miss him so much and all I do is cry. I just want to be with "the love of my life". He is the only person who truely loved me and that was taken from me unexpectedly and I don't know how to go on without him and don't want to. Thanks for listening. Love to you all

May 03, 2013
What can I say?:
by: Alassia

I have been overwhelmed by your messages and I’m really sorry I haven’t been able to respond to you individually but I know you will all understand.

I hope, one day, I’ll feel strong enough...But, for now, all I can say is thank you, from deep in my heart, to everyone who has posted on this thread and who has reached out in so many ways.

I wish I could ease your pain. With each message posted here, I have cried for you - and for me. We’re all going through agony – alone, yet not alone because we’re all experiencing this insane grief.

I can’t write any thing else at the moment.

Love and hugs to you all,

May 02, 2013
I feel your pain
by: steffy

it hurts I wish I could scream everyday.. My husband was killed 15 months ago and I miss him so much..
I don't know what any of it mean I just want him back but I still wake up to emptiness.

try and be strong.. I don't know how to help other then I feel your pain cody was killed and we were expecting our first child I was 7 months pregnant...

Now its just me and my 13 month old, and I hate existing but have to just like you,
Be strong and cry if you need to im always here if you need to talk!!

May 02, 2013
Doreen U.K From WHY? WHY?
by: Anonymous

Maybe someday you can meet someone who can relieve your pain and give you company--maybe even a relationship. It would never be replacing your husband but giving you someone new to share your life with. Your husband would want that for you and want you to be happy. He would not want you to continue suffering and hurting. Life is too short not to try to "live" again.
Believe me I know it is and will be hard. but let's try to put forth our best effort--for my husbands. If they were a Christian, they are in a much better place then we are---they are with our Savior talking away and enjoying Heaven!! hope we are all there one day.
You are doing great and moving forward--keep the good work up!

May 02, 2013
by: Anonymous

Don't tell me I have a whole year or more of this misery! It has only been 5 weeks and it feels like 2 months! I still cannot stand the loss of him and want him back so much!! I see him everywhere, hear him and want to be able to have him again!
But one day maybe I can find some peace with it. I read my Bible and daily verses and they help some with the promises of the Lord and know my hubby is in Heaven right now. better off then we--but I am selfish, I want him here.
But we need to go on for sure.
maybe we can Pen Pal and go thru this together?

May 02, 2013
WHY! WHY! WHY! I Miss my Husband so much!.
by: Doreen U.K

Dear Anonymous I ECHO the same way you feel. Every word you expressed is also the way I feel. You are not alone in how you feel. But we are all ALONE as we try to get through our own life the best way we can.
On Sunday will be one year my husband of 44yrs. died. I don't want to replace my husband with another so I guess it will be LONLINESS for me till I die. Even if I put things in my life to ease my lonliness I will always be LONELY for the loss of my HUSBAND/LIFE PARTNER. So I know how you feel and going through right now.
I hope our days ahead get a little lighter and we find our way through our grief to some Healing where we won't feel as we do now. I wouldn't want to go through the rest of my life feeling like this forever till I die. I am sure you don't either. Best wishes.

May 01, 2013
WHY?WHY? I Miss my Husband so much!
by: Anonymous

I agree and feel the same way as all of you. I just lost my husband 5 weeks ago and I am so miserable without him. we did everything together, we had so many plans, dreams and loved each other so much. we had been married 14 1/2 years and it took me 50 years to find the man of my dreams--only to lose him so soon. we should have had 20 years at least more together. as with all of you, everyone tells me I have to go on, it will get better in time. But I don't want to go on--but know I have no choice. I want to go to Heaven and be with my loving husband!! I see no future for me--no joy ever again. even if I someday meet someone else--it will never be him!! I can't stand the thought of living without him. I cry day in and day out, don't want to see the sun or anything else. Just want my husband back! Have ask WHY so many times and prayed so much for God to please bring him back to me-make it a bad nightmare. but I always wake up in the morning without him and an empty house!! It is so lonely without my other half. How I wish I could turn the time back and have him with me again! how do we ever really enjoy life again??

May 01, 2013
Pennie the world needs You! We need you in our world.
by: Doreen U.K.

Pennie I am sorry for your loss of your husband to cancer.
I lost my husband of 44yrs. to lung cancer 1yr. ago on Sunday 5th May.2012. This is truly the worst place to be. Pain we never knew could tear us apart to our core. I am only just feeling my grief more. I just seem to feel so lost without him. WE were due to enjoy his and my retirement now all gone.
I know how you feel when you say you don't want to live. Such lonliness feels so very cruel. I am glad you threw your husband's medication away. I hope that you don't end up killing yourself. The world needs you in it otherwise you wouldn't be here. Someone out there in your family needs you and would miss you, even if they don't say it or make you feel validated. I hear of some widows and widowers living without their spouse for some 30yrs. I hope to God this is not me. I don't mind some years but not years that feel like an eternity. I try to change my FOCUS when thoughts of dying creep up on me. I have to die naturally so that my children can cope with the loss.
Pennie you are in the early days of grief and too grief stricken to move on with your life. Like me and other's there seems no point.
It has taken months for me to motivate myself to accomplish at least one or two jobs a day. Day before yesterday it was mowing the lawn and feeding the plants, and making bread. Yesterday it was cleaning the outside windows and paintwork from the winter. and cleaning the fridge/freezer. Today it will be cleaning out cupboards and making bread. Tomorrow watering the plants. and then rest of the day off. Friday doing weekend cooking. Saturday I hate as this was the day my husband died and so I hate the weekends. Then I pace myself to tackle the bedrooms by painting. one day for the ceiling and then one day for the walls. I have more to do before I end up shampooing the carpets. It has taken me 6 months to get here. But I try. Some days I will succeed and other's not. But I work to my own timetable. I feel a little better for structuring my days better. I can't look too far ahead otherwise I wouldn't get through today. It would overwhelm me and I would be on the couch with a blanket and the TV. I still do this but not all day as before. None of us knows what a day will throw at us.
I watch a lot of God TV and get my strength and comfort here. I turned the TV on to hear Joel Osteen say. "When a person draws their last breath they are in heaven in a perfect atmosphere where there is no more sorrow or tears or pain." Suddenly I felt relief. But. I still miss his presence in my world. I know how you feel. You will one day wake up and your world will change, hopefully for the better where you will feel less pain and sorrow and you can find the strength to live. Best wishes

Apr 30, 2013
Why, why, why?
by: Pennie

I agree with all of you who ask the question "why go on?" It will be 5 months on the 10th of May that my husband died of cancer. Some times I just can't breathe the pain is so bad. My heart is so sad that it wants to die and I wish it would!!!I was thinking yesterday, "if I had only kept my husbands pain medication" I could end it but I was dumb enough to throw it out.I miss him so much. We were together for 40 years. He truly was the love of my life; he did everything for me and he loved me so.I would tell him I love him and he would say "love you more". How do we get past this pain? It is just awful and I think it's getting worse because I love and miss him so. We were always together and we shared so much every day. The only time we weren't together in 40 years was when he went to work.My mom once told me we were too close....how can 2 people be too close?! Most days I want to kill myself and that still might happen because I'm trying to give it time like everyone says.Sure, give it another day and see how that goes!!! just more pain and grief and the loneliness is just awful.Every time I look around the house I see my husband which is bitter sweet because he's there but he's not. I need to be with him so much..so lonely! So, I know how all of you are feeling and wish you peace

Apr 30, 2013
For Linda: Struggling and Can't find a Way Out!
by: Doreen U.K.

Linda my heart goes out to you. You are struggling so much and it is so disheartening because you can't see an end in sight. I struggled all my life and could never get out of this. My husband worked all the hours he had to just to make ends meet and all over our country and the world as part of his work. So he had to go. The kids didn't get to see their dad so I had to fill in for both of us. But since I couldn't change things I did most of the house painting and decorating. I learnt how to do this from books and T.V. I am not an expert in painting but I get by. One tip. Don't make the mistake I did. I recently got decorators in because with grief I couldn't do the work. I learnt that I put texture on a newly plastered wall because I used the wrong roller. I used a masonory roller in the Hall. The wall is bad. I either live with it or get it re-plastered.
You are not being negative by speaking out about what is going on in your life. It is very REAL for you. You are angry and frustrated and have a right to feel this way. How does one get out of this? To almost be losing your home is a real concern because we all need a roof over our head.#
Try putting on paper a strategy for getting out of this difficulty. Perhaps renting out a room or two? Rent out the garage? Hire out your driveway for Parking on a daily basis. Many people are looking for parking spaces. Advertise. RENT A DRIVEWAY. Re-train for a different job so you increase your skills, and self esteem. Just do one thing a day to help yourself feel better. Journal how you feel and then look at it monthly and see how much forward you have moved.
On Sunday is the anniversary of my Steve's death. I can't believe how much I have done in one year. I am amazed for one grieving. Doing one job a day helped not sinking into a depression. I still have a lot of work to do around the house but I am pacing myself. It will soon get done. I make PRIORITY LISTS and then tick off what has been done. All the time re-adjusting this and adding and re-prioritising. Just find what helps you get out of a rut and frustration. Join a group and talk about your struggles. Someone may be able to help you or make suggestions. Then you can always email me doreenelkington@aol.com and have a good moan anytime. I will be here to listen. The important thing is to not suffer alone. You will find a way out BUT. till you do we all need each other and I am here for you. God Bless.

Apr 29, 2013
go on, go on
by: Linda

I feel exactly like you do.(my hubby has been gone for 3mos now) Im alone!!! What have I got to look forward to????? First and foremost, I don't have my hubby, not a single cent in the bank, bills piling up, I'll probably lose our house we worked so hard to get, and now my hours at work have been decreased(I worked with my hubby(painting) and I'm not as fast as he was and don't know as much as he did) (We work for a painting contractor), His SS doesn't start for another month yet, by that time I'll be so far in debt I'll never get out. I REALLY GIVE UP, I feel so defeated, what is the use of going on??? For What!!! It just keeps getting harder & harder, I have knots in my stomach all the time, my heart ACHES.
I hate being so negative & angry, that was never me before, but I don't see anything EVER getting any better.

Apr 29, 2013
by: Karen

I'm so sorry for your loss. As I read your comments, I identified with everything you wrote. The love of my life, my best friend, the other half of me, my Everything died beside me 22 months ago at 3:11 a.m. of a massive heart attack. Rich's death was unexpected; there were no goodbyes; there was no closure. I know there never will be. I will never say goodbye; I can't. I'm still his wife and I love him as much today as the day we met. Rich and I met on a Friday night and we were together from that night until the night he died which was 15 years later. We used to laugh and told everyone that we didn't date, we felt married from the second day of our meeting. Everyone tells me to "go on" that God has a plan for me. Go on to what? Emptiness without Rich? All I want is the love of my life back. Memories flood me 24/7. Life without him in it is empty. As I drove in the car this past Saturday, the Neil Diamond song, The Story Of My Life, came on the radio. Rich was sending me a message. I know he was. I want to share the song with each of you who is grieving for the love of your life.


Apr 28, 2013
I agree
by: Anonymous

I can totally relate to what you are saying. Day in and day out, I feel the same way. I go through the motions but my heart is not into anything. Go on, go on for what? I do not want to go on yet I must. I wish that I had some words of wisdom for you but I do not. Just know, you are not alone.

Apr 28, 2013
Go on, go on! Why? What for?
by: Doreen U.K.

My Dear Alassia. My heart goes out to you. I hear the Echo's of your grief and broken heart. YES! We hear all too often from our supporters here that we must keep our husband's safely tucked into our hearts! and we must go on! And one day at a time! Things will get better! When all the while we are screaming inside.
The REALITY IS? We all have Choices. WE can sink or swim. At the moment we are swimming and we are also SINKING. We come up for air and then go under again. Doing this WE ARE TIRED! HAD ENOUGH! TIRED OF LIVING! TIRED OF CRYING! TIRED OF WORKING WITH NO END IN SIGHT!
I am tired of being housebound and not able to get out. Due to mobility issues. My daughter is fed up of the weekly shop so encouraged me to do this online. Spent 5 hours doing this on and off today and screwed it up. Nearly midnight. I have aborted shopping now. I feel so irritated with life today. Hope I wake up and life is better tomorrow even though all the tomorrows are the same. Work, eat, sleep, and get up and do it all over again. WE are locked into our grief and it can overwhelm us to the degree that it often feels HOPELESS. #
Alassia TODAY I feel the same as you do. I am told it will get better in time because that is what we are to believe. But I don't know what BETTER is right now. I lost my BETTER HALF. So how can it get better. I miss my husband so much that I can hardly stand the pain of this loss. It doesn't matter about TIME whether it is a year or twenty years. Time is the same. TIME spells...
I don't have anymore answers but to say to you. You aren't alone in how you feel. BUT technically. YOU ARE ALONE. WE ARE ALL ALONE. It is a SOLO JOURNEY. Everyone can give us nice trite answers to support us. Even I do it. But I can't make it better for You or Me. I have run out of options, and answers. If you need to scream you can email me doreenelkington@aol.com. I will be here to support you all you need and as often as you need to scream. Hugs from across the pond. Good Night. God Bless.

Apr 28, 2013
To, go on, go on
by: Leticia

I know how you feel. I felt the same way. Was told the samething. I loss my son who was a single father of five. My first born. How could I move on. The pain is unbearable . I am now joining a grieving support group that has allowed me to express my feeing without saying I need to moved on. It has help me very much. I hope you find that peace that i am starting to feel. It's been a emotional roller coaster. God be with you through this tough period.

Apr 28, 2013
Because we must
by: Lawrence

Because we must, the alternative is so attractive that we have to fight the urge to join our partner wherever they may be, but it is totally unfair to leave our families to grieve once again.
Everyone on this website feels as you, normal on the outside but dead inside.
Nothing helps; bottom line is that you have lost the only person you loved unconditionally as he did you and just have to sweat out the anguish and heartache until it becomes more manageable as needless to say it will one day, how long that will take nobody knows, I certainly don’t.
I am grieving for loss of a wonderful wife after a relationship that lasted nearly seventy years; she died suddenly four months ago and my grief seems never ending, I cry daily as I know you do, as they say “Grief is the price you pay for happiness”. We are paying that price; it certainly was worth it to have found such wonderful love.

Apr 28, 2013
by: Judith in California

Dear Alassa, there's not one of us who have lost our mates that has not felt the ame way. WE know we must "go on" as time passes and we get outofthe fog of grief. I have no choice in goin on as time passes every day and I have a choice to get up and try to live the best I can with the resouces I have becasue God did n0ot take me. Our mates would not want us to live out our days crying and loosing site of our lives. Some of us have small children or adult children that still need us and it would break their hearts for us to just give up. Yes, I still go through the motions and hope to one day soon not feel so empty inside. It's been 2 and a half years since my beloved passed and every day I say "Oh Chuck" so many times as I remember our lives together. In the midst of it all I still get dressed and find ways to either plant new flowers, enjoy the birds singing and look at the blue sky and talk with my sisters and friends and I hope to be here for them when and if one of them loose a husband. I will be understanding and give them the support they need. And be here on thi site for those who , like you, who are having a difficult time.
It's a roller coaster ride of emotions as we grieve for how ever long we grieve and most of us finally come out of it eventuallly and find peace and acceptance in knowing that God in his infinite wisdom knows best. We must choose to do the best we can for our mates memory as tough as it is at times.

May God bless you with the strength to move forward one breath, one step one minute at a time.

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