Going to see a grief counselor

by Terri
(Marietta, GA)

I am going to see a grief counselor tomorrow since my husband died 4 months ago. I am not handling things very well but this is what I have determined on my own. I do not know what killed my husband. He didn’t have cancer. He didn’t have a long drawn out illness which possibly could have helped me prepare for his death. I didn’t get to tell him what I really felt (I don’t think most people even realize their true feelings until it is too late). He died, no warning. But, for now, the only thing that gives me peace is knowing that my husband loved me when he died. He didn’t leave me for another woman. He left me to be with God. I think about all the people out there that have experienced an affair in their marriage only to be left alone in the same way that I have been. My heart goes out to anyone that has had to experience such pain. I don’t know what this counselor is going to tell me but I think it is past time for me to take this step.

Comments for Going to see a grief counselor

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May 04, 2011
grief counselor
by: Anonymous

Sorry for your loss. My sweetheart Angel a female Great Dane mix dog passed away almost 4 months ago. We were so close the pain was/is unbearable (also she went totally unexpectedly) so I actually talked one grief counselor on the phone seen two in person. It helps even if it's short term. There's also a book "The Grief Recovery Handbook" which might help. I know it is extremely difficult to say the least. Good luck.

May 04, 2011
Sorry for your loss!
by: Ilana

I am seeing a grief counselor to help me come to terms with my mother's death. Her's was a sudden death due to Ovarian Cancer. We had no time to react as she only had five months from the day she was diagnosed and before then she was healthy.

Going to a grief counselor is a good start! I tried going to a support group but it didn't work for me. I needed individual counseling.

Good luck to you!

May 04, 2011
by: zoe

Sometimes it helps to actually hear the words come out of your mouth about what you feel. And if this counselor is good they will give you a safe environment where you can say how you feel without the fear of being judged. Sometimes if you speak out loud you give a form to you pain.
It is different for everyone, but I applaud your insight that you need to take this step. I am a little over a year from losing my John and I can tell you, when you can start forming those sort of clear thoughts, you are starting on your way.
Will it make the pain go away, nothing does that, it is a matter of putting it into a working form for you to live with.
John was diagnosed with cancer, given six months to a year and died eleven days later. He dropped into septic shock literally in minutes. Even with illness we don't always get to say what we want, even if you do have time, it is never enough.
Please let keep us up on how you are doing.
just remember, when it is two in the morning and you need to let it out, we are here, and we will always listen, and understand.

one breath, one step, one day at a time.

May 04, 2011
I Wasn't Prepared
by: TrishJ

My husband had a terrible 5 year battle with ravaging heart disease. He was on the national transplant list. His illness drained us both physically, emotionally and financially. I was in no way prepared for his death when it happened.
I started a grief support group after two months. I remember going to that first meeting. I was still in a state of shock. Another lady there cried through the entire meeting and as soon as she started I started. It's good to cry. It's good to cry with another woman who is going through the same thing. A grief counselor is an excellent idea. I've come a long way in the past 3 months. I needed my faith renewed. I needed to "feel the love" of others who were experiencing the grief.
Unanswered questions can drive us insane. I would continue to pursue things. I still haven't received the results of my husband's autopsy ~ the hospital is holding back for some reason. My son's friend who is an attorney has advised me to follow through with a law suit. We deserve answers.
God bless~hugs and peace to you.

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