Goldie - My Beloved

by Julia Nichols
(Redford, MI)

Goldie Resting

Goldie Resting

Goldie passed from our world in to heaven, Dec. 10, 2010 around 7:20PM. He was my companion and a great love of my life. He was a 14 year old beautiful golden English Cocker Spaniel.

Everyday, when I came in he would meet me at the door and shower me with affection. Every night he lay soundly asleep beside me. On his last day, he managed to drag himself to the back door waiting for me to come home to him. I came home Thursday evening and found him very ill. I knew. I held him all night until the vet confirmed for me that morning my worse fear. He was terminally ill with a cancerous tumor. This happen so fast, no warning. Happy and eating one day, and down the next. I was so devastated.

The vet wanted to euthanize right away, but I needed one more afternoon with him. I took him back home and held him for the day, then went back with two of my true sisters and said good-bye to my love, Goldie.

All I do is cry, cry, cry, I can't even tell you how this feels. I never felt this way about any family member passing. I cry leaving home and going home. I'm trying to learn to handle this but I feel all I can do right now is cry. Goldie was all about unconditional love. I'm a person of faith, so I'm trusting that one day, I'll see my Goldie again. I love you Goldie.


Comments for Goldie - My Beloved

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Jul 29, 2011
JJ is with Goldie
by: Julia

Joanne, don't feel guilty. You didn't kill JJ. You were being a good mom taking care of him. He got sick and you had to handle it. I know how horrible that is, I cried when I first read your note. All the old sad feelings came rushing back. Goldie is in a better place now and JJ is with him. Dogs have a supernatural ability, a sixth sense, so it does not surprise me to hear of JJ trying to eat and be normal the night before. He felt your pain and your spirit so he tried to do something to make you feel better. See, that's how they love us. Goldie would have passed sooner but he didn't want to leave me, he was so sick and he wouldn't go until I let him go. I'm sorry, this note is so hard for me. I thought I could do this and not fall apart but my wound is still healing too. I truly know your pain and I say just cry and try to think of all the good times with JJ. I am a christian so I have prayed a lot! And asked God for courage to get through this time of grief. I really took Goldie's death very hard, took time off from work and lost 15lbs. but with God's grace I came through and continue to. Goldie died in the winter, so I cremated him, waited for spring and recently had a service for him in my back yard. He's resting now under the shade tree he loved and the garden he watched. My family has been supportive but my friends with dogs were the best. Find support from other dog lovers and you'll find your way through this terrible time. It's not easy, but time really does help. Take care!

Jul 02, 2011
Goldie is now with JJ
by: Joanne

I just put my 13 year old cocker spaniel to rest one week ago today. I worry I didn't give him enough time to get well and am filled with guilt. He went in for routine surgery and got very bad "esophagitis" from the anesthesia. He spent the next week in the hospital and I then took him home where I syringe fed him for a week. He resisted the syringe and would only eat marginally from my hand. He was improving from two weeks ago but was not maintaining the calories needed for his size. The other option was a feeding tube which I declined. I made his final appointment and on the way out the door he ate all of the cat food....that is now haunting me...was he getting better? The night before he could not keep anything down. I am paralyzed with guilt that maybe I should have given him longer. I cry all the time, I need to function and am very worried about how I will get thru this grief. JJ didn't deserve to die like this...he was only going to get his ears cleaned and now he is gone...forever. I pray for peace and that I didn't kill my best friend too soon.

Jun 17, 2011
Pet Love
by: Julia Nichols

Dear Anonymous, I'm so very sorry to hear how you lost Freddy. I know it was some time ago, but it's a terrible tragedy. Thank you for your kind words regarding Goldie. It's nice to know there are those of us who love our pets so much.

Jun 17, 2011
by: Julia Nichols

Hi Jesse, I love this site. It really does help in the healing process. You are right, you know my pain. And like you, I never grieved for a person, the way I did for Goldie. I can't explain that. I still feel the pain and I tear up sometimes, but now I have a lot of good funny memories and I talk about those a lot with my friends. One time Goldie buried 3 raccoons in my back yard in one night, One in each corner with the heads showing. That was a warning to all the raccoons headed for my garden. Thinking about the work he put in that night makes me smile. My husband had to get rid of those animals and Goldie did not like that. It's been 7 months and I'm getting along but there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about him. I always tell the Lord I want him to meet me on the other side when it's my time. Jesse, Mimi, knew you loved her and you were there with her until the end. That's what matters to them. Us being there and you were. I know it was beyond hard, but that is what love does. Take it one day at a time. Praying for you!

Jun 16, 2011
I'm experiencing your pain
by: Jesse

Julia I am truly sorry for your loss and about how it happened. I lost my little girl to an brain tumor. She had a seizure that permanently crippled her. She's had them before but usually would recover quickly. I know your pain and sadness. Goldie was blessed to have a master like yourself. Our pets lived as long as they did because we both took care of them as though they were our children. We grieve so so so much because they r completely dependent on us. They are our sidekick. I've cried harder over my Mimi than I ever did for my father. My loss traumatized me. My little girl had been euthanized in my arms and in her home. I think about our happy times but all I could do is cry God blessed her with 16 yrs. My little girl passed on 6-5-2011. I have a long way to recover from my grief. Thank you for posting your story.

Feb 02, 2011
Pet Love
by: Anonymous

Hi, Julie

I know what you are going through. My dog Freddy died back in the year of 1999. He was hit with a baseball bat by a mean-spirited individual. Therefore, we had no choice but to have Freddy put to sleep. However, Freddy taught us how to love and be happy everyday. Whenever I saw him at the back door or coming up and down the stairs, I would have the biggest smile on my face. Please know that God is watching over all of us and he will see you through this timely moment. Thank you for sharing your personal information.

Jan 11, 2011
by: Julia

I just wanted to thank everyone who has shared with me on this site. Your words and thoughts have meant a lot to me. It's nice to have a place to come where people understand the love we can have for a pet. It's been a little over a month since Goldie passed. I still cry at certain memories and of course I miss him daily but time is slowly helping. Once again, thank you all and God bless.

Dec 18, 2010
Be gentle with yourself
by: Russ

You have embarked on a long journey; one that will take you beyond what you think you can bear. But you will come through darkness into the light again. In these coming days - be gentle with yourself - be compassionate with yourself. Come back here - read the thoughts of what others have shared and suffered. Yes - you will be together again with Goldie. Life begins, ends, and changes - but our spirits live on always.

Find pleasure in small things - talk with friends who understand. Don't be surprised that not all understand the deep bond of love that exist between human and animal. Time will take the intensity of your pain away and replace it with a sweetness that is both sad but also blessed.

Bucky's dad

Dec 15, 2010
by: Princes Mom

I know at this time no words can help ,believe me I feel your pain and the more you try the more it hurts but I just want you to know that you just have to get the strength deep down inside and be brave for the next step, it will get easier as the time goes by but in your heart the love will always be.

Everyday I live with this pain for my little Man Mr Prince , and sometime its harder than others but you have that strong memories of him so deep inside of you just reach for them and remember the good times you have with Goldie because it was hard for him as well to leave you but the poor brave soul just could not win that fight so be brave for him as he was for you and may your journey be met with fate and peace. May God Give you the strength to go on.

Dec 14, 2010
For Julia
by: Mari

I am very sorry to hear of the loss of your beautiful dog, Goldie. I can tell that Goldie was very special, affectionate and sweet.
This is a difficult time for you and healing takes time. You had Goldie for many years.
Pets like Goldie make wonderful companions but I am thinking of all the love and affection you lavished on him. What a happy life for him and blessed to be so loved.

You sound like a kind sensitive person, caring too. Give yourself time to heal. Stay close to the Lord. Just take a day at a time.
You will see Goldie again. The Bible says the lion shall lay down with the lamb so we know there will be animals in heaven.

There are a lot of wonderful people on this board so keep posting. We are here for you. Take care. Mari

Dec 13, 2010
my sympathies to you
by: jand

I'm so sorry for your loss. I, too, lost my kitty to kidney disease on dec 10 too, only at 10am. after we euthanized him i felt a huge hole in my heart. all day i walked around like a zombie and cried on and off. you're right,,, it's like losing a best friend. luckily, i have 4 other cats who are helping me get through this. my kitty used to always lay in this one spot in the house and now, all of a sudden since he's gone, one of my other kitties has taken over his place. i think i would be even more devastated if i didn't have their support. i do agree with you that we'll see them again someday. i hope you'll get through this..................i hope i will too.

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