Gone and it's my fault. Only me to blame.

by Dave
(Grants Pass, OR)

I deserve it double. I was protecting my chickens from a silver colored fox after dark. My cat of nearly 11 years was colored the same as the fox and in the frenzy I took Boo's life when she appeared the same time the fox disappeared. So ashamed of myself. I guess I know how a drunk driver might feel after causing pain. I have been crying for two days now off and on whenever my brain slows down enough to remember which is every 15 minutes or so, but it seems like it is not enough for me. I guess I deserve it so I hope it lasts a long time. She deserved better than that and I am an idiot.

Comments for Gone and it's my fault. Only me to blame.

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Mar 18, 2016
It's My Fault, Too
by: Cheryl

Ten days ago I went out to the back patio to clean hummingbird feeders. I left the sliding glass door open and my 15 year old white cat slowly wandered out to enjoy a moment of fresh air and sunshine. He usually comes back in soon. In his youth he was mostly an outdoor cat.
My handyman came over to fix the outdoor patio light. Later, a friend came over for dinner, watched TV, then went home. I went to bed and woke up the next morning wondering why he was not curled up on the bed. Then it hit me. He was out all night. Oh no! I have 2 outdoor cats that don't like him and very likely ran him off.
It has been 10 days and no sign of him. I live in the country in northern CA, coyote area. I have hiked open land, posted flyers, emailed my neighborhood watch group, filed a report with animal control, & notified local vets. I cry, apologize, & beg for his return, daily.
I feel your pain and hope it has subsided with time. The love & remorse you expressed for your cat, touches my heart. Give yourself credit for being an incredibly compassionate person. All we can do is learn and try to do better in the future. At least that is what I tell myself.

Jan 24, 2012
wow..sorry for this !!
by: Anonymous

I want to tell you,sharing this will help
with your own compassion,look you did nothing
but try to stop a predator from wounding
your other animals

you need to know,guilt will be holding you
back in life,let it go,love yourself,talk
it out,let everyone here love you for
you were protective not mean,nothing bad ok?

I found a psychic medium and they can sort out by putting you in touch with the pet,and
letting the pet tell you how things seem to them

you know,you care,let others in,I just want
you to get help if you have "PTSD" stress disorder,flashbacks ok? don't worry,you join
millions of americans with this condition.

you DID NOTHING but be a protective fur daddy
peace peace to your soul ok?

Jul 30, 2011
You are Such a Dear Soul Dave
by: geoffrey pyne campbell

My heart was touched at your love for your cat of eleven years, for I love my pets the same way. I lost my pet due to my own fault, but what you did was not your fault in my estimate. I have always loved even my chickens (though not as much as my cat) for each one had their own personality, and some like to hop on your lap, and then will close their eyes and make soft sounds revealing their pleasure aS they are stroked. The bantam hens at my Uncle's house were so trusting, would never run away. And Ralph, the Polish fighting rooster would follow me everYwhere, desiring only my company. In my eyes, you were protecting those that needed protection. (I could never kill our chickens, just take their eggs) When I lose a cat, you would think that the heavens had fallen, I cry so hard, so I can understand perhaps your grief. Our cat Pansy lived till eighteen, and I still miss her. But one day, I believe, that if we are faithful in this life, and live a life of compassion, we will once again see those who loved us, and are loved!

Jul 29, 2011
Blame no one
by: Judith in California

Dave, what happened was an unfortunate accident. She knows you didn't mean to hurt her. I feel so sad with you. I have 4 kitties and it would hurt like hell for me to hurt one of them but once in a while they run under my feet while I'm walking and it's me or them to fall and get hurt so I accidentally hit one with my foot. I pick them up and apologize immensely afterward but I still feel guilty.

Please know God knows you had no intent to kill her. So he will not hold you guilty.

Take care Dave.

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