Gone But Not Forgotten

by Paula
(U S A)

My mom passed away on October 28, 2008 at 3:30am. The pain that i am feeling i cannot describe because for one, i have not accepted that she is gone. I know that i am not the only one who has a mom or lost a mom, but she was a very unique mom and every mom is created special. I took my mom for granted and the one thing we never did was to tell each other that i love you. But we did show the love, but looking back now that would have made a whole lot of difference.

My mom was diagnosed with stomach cancer and did she suffer before her illness. She was a 13/14 in clothes; at the end she was a 3/4, and the worst part, i took care of her thinking she was gonna get better. It was so cruel to us that it went into remission for a short time and it came back with a vengeance.

She fought like hell and i pushed her to keep fighting and while she was doing that it was taking over her stomach. She was getting weaker and weaker; i was being selfish because i did not want to be alone. But the best thing of all was that i was able to take care of her as if she was my daughter but she was my baby and that is the best feeling you can ever experience in your life.

For me that was my accomplishment, but in the end i still lost the one thing that made my life complete. She is gone and i will never feel that security that she gave to me; i can only try to live my life to tell my kids every day that i love them because when its over it's over and you cannot get back that chance. So rest in peace mama until we meet again. I love you.

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Apr 09, 2010
in your eyes
by: Deborah

In your eyes is where your mother lies. She is in the reflection that you look at everyday.....the reflection which you can not seem to walk away from. Looking back in the mirror the face which you wear. She sees you... she knows you... watching you standing there.. Although a shadow no longer is cast on the ground. She hears your pain.. the silent sound.

If she could she would say to you; I know it's hard to watch your children grow, so hard you're afraid to let it show. You even keep the love locked up tight. In hopes that it's right there to see in plain sight.. it is foolish, but yet it is what we do. You know how I know.. I'm a mother just like you... And when the feelings are under control.. remember I am here, I'm a piece of your soul..

I am sorry for your loss.

Apr 06, 2010
by: Terry

Hi Paula,
I am sure your mom knew how much you loved her. What a blessing to have had the privilege of taking care of your mom. I too lost my mom to cancer. She died of leukemia this past January and I also took care of her. Take hold of the great times you had together and these precious memories will help you through this most difficult time. You will be in my prayers.

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