Gone too soon

by Ginger

My precious mama left us March 23 2013 at 47 years old. I just turned 31 yesterday, my sisters are 23 and 16..... Some days I am ok. Other days I feel like I could never stop crying. We went thru some of her things yesterday. My birthday. I have a scarf that smells of her and yesterday it was ok... Today is another story. Today that smell, her scent... makes my heart so heavy with sorrow. My baby sister will be 17 next month. She will be a senior in high school. Graduating next year. I can't stop thinking how unfair this is for her. My other sister just had her first baby.. Unfair again. My mama got to see my children ages 4 and 7... My 7 year old wasn't as close to her as my youngest. Its upsetting. But at least she was here for it. We 3 have our own different things that we still need her for. Long to have her here for. Its like since the one year anniversary real grief has hit. I am all over the place with my emotions and thoughts. I am a religious woman. I lean on the Lord often but sometimes I just hurt and remember, and dwell and cry it out. I miss her so much. We all do. Every single day. I feel no one understands. People tell us its selfishness to want her here, to move on. Most of those people still have a mom. Its not like we would bring her back to suffer in that sickened body. We KNOW she is at peace. It hurts none the less. She left too soon. 47 is young. Its unfair.

Comments for Gone too soon

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Jun 01, 2014
Feel so alone
by: Josie

My heart goes out to you and your family. I had 3 brothers and I am the youngest the only daughter I lived out of State and even got fmla from work so I could go and see my Mom. After her being in the hospital for almost a month she was in icu on a ventilator, but was conscious she had pneumonia and none of the antibiotics they were giving her were working. She was always trying to tell me something & would get frustrated because I could not understand her. I had to come home because even though I had fmla I ran out of vacation & sick time so I needed to get back to work my ex now @ that time didn't even say don't worry I'll cover the bills I told her Mom I'll be back this weekend I have to go to work she shook her head NO I had no other choice and cried all the way home which was 4hrs away. A few days later as I was walking through the parking lot at work in the morning with my friend I got a call from the hospital she had coded and was gone. I don't have sisters and living away from home all I could do is depend on my friends. After that a year later on her b-day my oldest brother had a stroke and died. Then last year on Mother's day I lost my last surviving brother. Now all my family is gone except me. I have 3sons & 1daughter just like my Mom they don't understand what I go through everyday and the guilt I feel for leaving her when she needed me most. You are blessed to have your sisters to help support each other when your down all I get is get over it I have no support from my kids who are all adults. Because they don't understand what it feels like to lose all your family. My other brother died 18mos after my father 24yrs ago. I'm 54 and feel like an orphan. God is the only thing that keeps me going to this day I still wish I could have stayed but it was not meant to be. Cherish your sisters & let the petty stuff go it's all materialistic and she lives on in your heart & in your memories. She will always be with you and if you have faith you know she is in a glorious place and we will see our loved ones again. Grief comes & goes people say it will get better it does over time but you just learn to live with it. God bless you and your sisters we don't know why only God knows his reasons. Take care and cry when you have to don't let nobody tell you how your suppose to feel until they go through it then they will understand.

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