Gone too soon
My precious mama left us March 23 2013 at 47 years old. I just turned 31 yesterday, my sisters are 23 and 16..... Some days I am ok. Other days I feel like I could never stop crying. We went thru some of her things yesterday. My birthday. I have a scarf that smells of her and yesterday it was ok... Today is another story. Today that smell, her scent... makes my heart so heavy with sorrow. My baby sister will be 17 next month. She will be a senior in high school. Graduating next year. I can't stop thinking how unfair this is for her. My other sister just had her first baby.. Unfair again. My mama got to see my children ages 4 and 7... My 7 year old wasn't as close to her as my youngest. Its upsetting. But at least she was here for it. We 3 have our own different things that we still need her for. Long to have her here for. Its like since the one year anniversary real grief has hit. I am all over the place with my emotions and thoughts. I am a religious woman. I lean on the Lord often but sometimes I just hurt and remember, and dwell and cry it out. I miss her so much. We all do. Every single day. I feel no one understands. People tell us its selfishness to want her here, to move on. Most of those people still have a mom. Its not like we would bring her back to suffer in that sickened body. We KNOW she is at peace. It hurts none the less. She left too soon. 47 is young. Its unfair.