Good Days follow by bad days

by Dawn
(Hong Kong)

Dad has gone for 56 days. Time and reality pushing us moving forward. Mum is going to move into a new apartment next weekend. During Easter Holiday, we all stayed at home with her and handle dad's stuff. My brothers was in the new apartment to do some painting for her. Only me and her to review dad's stuff. It was so sad and both of us got hit when we found out those birthday cards & valentine cards that dad sent to my mum 30 years ago. We just can't control our tears. Mum and Dad was very poor when there were just married. They spent most of their time in making the living for us, thus, they don't have much time in expressing their love to each other (coz reality really doesn't allow them doing so). Also, we are chinese and they usually kept their feeling at the bottom of their heart. When my mum found out all the cards, she collapsed. She said how come she forgot how much he loved him.... and basically, they do have happy lives in recent 7 to 8 years as we all graduated and they don't need to worry about life too much. And time passed really fast esp when they have a happy life in recent 8 years...I just want to say when we organized all dad's stuff,i found that nothing is more important than memories. Those cards, pictures are more valuable then any other luxuries!!!! Keep the memories and spirit at our heart forever is the way how we can grief him. I don't think the grieving will end,,, but it will just exist at different ways when time passes by. I love you Dad!

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Apr 27, 2011
Good days follow bad days
by: Mari

I am so sorry for your loss Dawn. I realize it is very hard on your mom too. You can take comfort in knowing that the love was always there even though not always expressed. Actually it was expressed in different ways with the good care your mom and dad gave you. They made their children a priority.
The grieving process takes time. It varies with everyone. There will be a variety of emotions along the way.There is no way out of the grieving process but time helps and faith in God. It has not been very long since your dad passed so you need more time.
Just remember we are here for you when you want to express your feelings.
I might add that you sound like a wonderful caring daughter and your mom is blessed to have you.
My husband passed away a yr and 5 months ago and in many ways I have progressed but I still miss him very much. I have good and bad days. So take care of yourself and take one day at a time.God is always with you. Keep posting because it helps and there are wonderful people on this board who truly care any time you want to talk.

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