Goodbye to Many

I'm considerably young and can't seem to escape death of my close friends and family.

My grandfather (dad's side) passed away when we were celebrating an early Christmas.
The funeral the Christmas Eve so there were barely any people. He was extremely well liked and knew many people. It was somewhat unexpected because a few months before hand, he's been fine. Then he got sick. Very sick.

That same day, my mothers uncle (I hardly knew him because it is my aunts ex-husband's father) had committed suicide.

I turned 15 a few days later and I had to watch my grandma sit there alone.

January comes around. New Year and starting fresh and we get the news my other grandfather is dying. He'd slip into a coma and die.

He died a few minutes ago.

I'm so worried he won't be in Heaven and I am hoping God will forgive him.

Two days ago, my former best friend's mother, basically my mother, has 2 weeks to 2 months left seen as she's been battling stage 4 cancer for a few years.

My best friend's mother's grandmother had passed the day before.

I just read what people dealing with multiple deaths feel and I've gotten to know each point very well.

I especially agreed in the part of forgetting yourself and feeling like you've forgotten your identity.
That's exactly what I feel.

I don't feel like me,
not anymore.

Comments for Goodbye to Many

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Jan 24, 2014
Goodbye to Many
by: Doreen UK

I am so sorry for all the losses you have had to experience at such a young age. Often with just one death one can feel in a state of shock and disbelief, and not able to process what has just happened. You have had one loss on top of another and not had time to deal with the first loss. It is all piling up and this is why you feel the way you do. It is not uncommon for any of us to go through an identity crisis. Don't leave it just like this. See a counsellor or a therapist. Something deeper may be going on and often if not dealt with can act as a trigger for all sorts of emotions and feelings. A good therapist is trained to bring what has become deep rooted to the surface where you can deal with it or often it just evaporates and will never bother you again. I have done this grief work and know it works if you get the right therapist/counsellor, and you stay with the programme and don't bail out when it becomes painful. You have to go through the pain to get the healing. The healing is so worth it. No experience like it. But when you have an identity crisis the best person to see is a therapist/counsellor. It is not a daunting experience. It is a very clever skill to help people in grief/emotional pain.
Don't worry about whether your grandpa will be in Heaven and if God will forgive him. When the body dies the Spirit goes back to God who gave it and the body goes back to dust (how we were created). Jesus will come back to earth for all those who have accepted him and believed in him and the body of those who have died, will be resurrected and the Spirit put back into that body and every person with a resurrected body will be perfect. No more illness, no more pain, no more sorrow, no more cancer, no more DEATH. God will destroy Death forever. Death was never in God's plan. Death came through SIN. The sin of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. But God couldn't let man die forever so He sent His Son Jesus to die for us so we can have eternal Life. God is a FORGIVING God. He doesn't think as we think. He is infinite. Just have FAITH. Believe. Take one day at a time. Find Comfort in God and I hope you receive God's Peace.

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