My Gran died in January this year. Although its weird telling my story to strangers I feel that it hopefully will help. My friends have been great but I feel that they will think I’m crazy for still being upset 4 months later. I think about her everyday.
She was old but her death was still a shock - for me at least. She had a stroke and I was the only one with her at the time. I called the ambulance but I feel so so guilty now still. Guilty that I didn’t call them sooner, guilty that I was the last person to have a conversation with her and it wasn’t about anything good.
I threw myself back into work and have been feeling numb for the past few months, and upset with myself that I wasn’t crying everyday. Now I am sad and I don’t think anyone will understand why. I have recently moved to a new town and don’t have the support of home around me all the time and have been having very low self-esteem. I miss her a lot I even try to ring her! Been having dreams about her as well she was such a loving grandparent and although she didn’t show it all the time she had so much love to give and her family meant the world to her <3