grandad died, then mum and now dad has terminal cancer with only months left

by Charlotte

I'm a 34 yr old single mum to a 10 year old son. I have just had the worst 4 months of my life and it's only getting worse. I was made redundant at the new year and 5 days late was told my mum was terminal with months left only. On the 18th Jan my grandad (mums dad) died after having dementia for several years previously. There was some major family fighting between my mum and her brother, and their partners about funeral arrangements and care for my nanna, mums mum. This eventually got resolved but the stress took its toll on mum. She died a few days after the funeral on 3rd February. As I'm an only child I was responsible for everything, although I did have help from mums boyfriend and family friends, I still have loads left to do. Mainly because I have to get my head into my new job, which is fantastic but mentally demanding, finish the final year of my post grad diploma, as well as being a mum etc. A few weeks after mum died, my son's father walked out on his partner and her children, my son's blended family. This combination resulted in my son not coping and I now also have a suicidal, depressed 10 year old with anger management problems as well. He's been referred into children's mental health services and the school are also looking at support for him.

I have been suffering from depression, anxiety and stress for a number of years and have been medicated on and off for decades. Despite this I've put myself through university and have a good degree, while working and supporting my son. I have to finish my post grad this year or I lose all the work I've done and would have chucked away £7500. I'm now on the maximum dose of my antidepressant. Today my dad told me that he has terminal cancer, with an optimistic estimate of 4-6 months left. He didn't want to tell me til after my birthday, which was two days ago. A week ago he married his long term partner at a registry office. They told nobody and had two strangers from the street as witnesses. It's very typical of my dad that it would take terminal cancer for him to marry. But it won't be long before she is a widow and I'm an orphan.

I know there's nothing anyone can do. I just find myself rather reeling. The time scale is absolutely insane. I don't see this as God's mysterious ways. Just don't know where to even start to deal with all of this.

Comments for grandad died, then mum and now dad has terminal cancer with only months left

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Apr 20, 2014
grandad died, then mum and now dad has terminal cancer with only months left.
by: Doreen UK

Charlotte this is am immense HEAVY BURDEN for you to carry alone. You need to applaud yourself for being such an amazing person to accomplish so much for your family and career. You are so young with immense responsibilities. I am sorry for your loss of your mother, grandparents, and about to lose your father to terminal cancer. I am sad for you having to cope with a young son with mental health challenges.
I suffered with depression all my life. I spent time reading many self help books which only took me so far. In my 40's I reached rock bottom and couldn't survive this depression anymore and took myself into counselling/psychotherapy. Best decision and investment in my life. I have healed in ways I didn't think possible. I am living for the first time with Freedom.
I lost my husband of 44yrs. 2yrs. ago next week to a deadly cancer having worked with asbestos not known as a deadly substance. This is now invading the UK. I then went on to give 8yrs. in voluntary work to a Mental Health Facility. I am well read and have a good understanding of the many complex issues that clients come into counselling with. If you are able to see a counsellor you may be able to recover from your depression, and live a happier life. I am so glad I did this for myself and my family. Living with so much sorrow from losing loved one's can throw us over the edge and seeking support is a very mature thing to do when we are so overwhelmed with emotion and grief. Don't suffer alone or in silence. Take one day at a time. We don't understand the ways of God. What we can do is draw strength from God to cope with life and death. If you have the time. Go on You tube and watch a recording of Joel Osteen. Punch in this information and you will be greatly encouraged and strengthened by this man of God who offers bucket loads of encouragement and comfort. May God come close to you and your family and give you His Comfort and Peace.

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