In november 2003 my grandad was diagnosed with motor neuron disease, I was only 11 at the time. Soon after we found he was also suffering from dementia. My nan looked after him in the best possible way that she could. I found it hard to see my grandad that I had always known as such a independent person have to have everything done for him.
On september 26th at 3am my nan phoned my parents for help; my grandad had collapsed and she couldn't wake him. I was in bed at the time and my parents have always believed that I slept through what happened that night. My nan and grandad had been together for over 50 years and my nan never really 'got over' my grandad dying.
In november 2005 my other nan from my dads side of the family was diagnosed with stomach cancer, she died in march 2006. Although I wasn't as close to her as my other grandparents it was probably more of a shock to me as she was around 10 years younger. In september 2006 my nan was admitted to hospital, to undergo surgery. She seemed to be making a full recovery until she started to develop heart failure. We spent 2 whole days with her in ICU, and to be honest I don't remember much about it, I was in total shock at the time. I do remember her telling me that she loved me which I am so grateful for hearing now.
After my nan had died I really went through a state of shock I knew that she had gone but I didn't really cry or anything.
The first christmas without her made me realise what I had lost. I still get upset about what has happened, and I really wish that I could tell them all that I love them and I miss them so much. I wish they were here to see me on birthdays, christmas, when I started university etc. I just hope they are looking down on me and that they are still proud of me.