great dane 12


(central ohio)

Basically.....after almost 20 years of marriage i find myself having been told that she may have been content but not sure if she was really happy. Additionally she feels as though her love for me has died. I had never loved anyone this deeply in my life before. I was totally committed. and never failed to tell her of my love and appreciation for her........every couple of months I bought her flowers and told her it was just "happy I love you day". Each year my love for her became much deeper.......I was sold out. So this sudden and totally unexpected turn of events has left me feeling like i've been run over by a freight train from out of nowhere. We did not have a history of fighting and arguing. It's been 6 months now and although I am doing better I still have many more questions than answers............answers that I no longer expect to get. What troubles me the most is the apparent deception and outright lack of honesty that I received in return for my openness and unashamed declaration of love for her. I don't think I will ever be able to trust anyone very much after this.

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Oct 25, 2014
great dane 12
by: Doreen UK

20yrs. of marriage is a huge committment. More people are breaking up in the latter years of marriage and I can't understand this? just when a a couple should be settling down and enjoying these latter years they up and leave. When either partner falls in love with someone else they usually find faults with the marriage. This is an aspect of the affair.
When either partner finds failings in the marriage they should talk it over in a mature way and come to some aggreement. It depends on how the break is made what will cause the least damage to the aggrieved partner.
You will feel this way for some time. FOCUS on what you think you could do to move forward. Your wife does not want to continue the marriage with you. She has moved on. This is painful. BUT. If someone does not want you in their life anymore I would think that it is not worth the grief crying over what you can't have.
Turn this around and let it make you stronger. Don't put your life on hold. The best revenge is to make a success of your life and find a new love to continue your journey on this earth. No use burying your head in the sand. But this decision takes a whole lot of maturity. Perhaps a few sessions with a counselor will help you see what went wrong. How you can put strategies in place for change so you don't take baggage into a new relationship. Just don't make the mistake of visiting old haunts by taking your wife back if her life does not work out. Don't give her the time of day. No one likes to be made a fool of. You need your self esteem built up. Counseling could help here. But you can also help yourself with positive encouragement and doing lovely things for yourself each day.
There is life after divorce. Just keep your guard up, and make positive changes in your life that will help you to reclaim your life and feel love again.

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