Great friend and also my cousin

by Pam hercules
(Wisconsin united states)

Three years ago in march I lost a great friend. In high school I was bullied he protected me . Was nice to me when no one else was. He saw how great I was when no one else did. He moved away after he graduated . He moved back and we went out one night had a great time. A week later I talked to him on the phone he was drunk . Three hours later there was an accident he fell out a two story window. I found out two weeks later and shortly after that they took him off life support I blame myself and feel terrible for not going to the hospital. He was such a great part of my life its difficult to get over and its almost been three years. Also in august my cousin was in a terrible car accident and they took him off life support I wasn't able to get to the hospital in time either I feel terrible again. They were both donors so I feel better about that. But still hurts everyday knowing I can't pick up the phone and call them I'm a cna so I deal with deal with death alot so I don't understand y I just can't get over this I miss them both so much and so guilty for not being there for them.

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Dec 20, 2012
Great friend and also my cousin
by: Doreen U.K.

Pam I am sorry for your loss of your cousin and friend who both lost their life support and passed from this world leaving you broken and lost. You don't have to feel responsible for not being there at the hospital on both occassions. I am sure if this was possible you would have been there. You also cannot be held responsible for them dying. Often we are just BLESSED to have people come into our lives even if it is only for a season. They leave a very precious foot print in our lives and in our heart. When we lose them we are like a Broken Vessel. Many of the events in life we can do nothing about. And if there is something we could have done and didn't we have to let this go and FORGIVE ourselves for our shortcomings. It comes with the territory of being human. You may be supporting people in Death and think Why can't I handle these two deaths? You were emotionally involved in the lives of the two people you lost. You had a Bond with these two people. This is why you feel this more than if you did not know the person. You will still have caring feelings and compassion for others who die, but you have boundaries that prevent you from being emotionally involved. There is a difference. May God Comfort you in your sorrow and Grief and may you be Blessed in Life.

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