Grief and selfishness
I have been thinking a lot lately about a chance remark made by Hope in VA that the only benefits of grief is selfishness.
I have to say I agree with that, grief has very few benefits but the knowledge that it will end sometime.
But I believe this kind of selfishness isn't a negative at all. It's actually a positive-it's a sign that you are growing and coming back to some kind of life out of the confusion. I also think it's a sign of healing-you are well enough now to concentrate on something, make decisions about something, start looking forward to something. After the exhausting and confusing times of early grief it makes sense that the thing you would concentrate on is yourself. After all, it's all on you now.
Having lived a little while with grief and it's aftermath I can say that for me it is almost like having another adolescence but one in which I am smarter and braver. I have the same sense of not being sure where am I going. But this time I know who I am because I know where I've been. I can also roll with the punches a little easier. I'm not going to waste time when I see something isn't working for me and I won't spend time with people or things that don't make me happy. Life is too short, time is too precious.
So don't worry about being selfish. It's just a sign that the new you is emerging.
Much love to all of you who keep me propped up on my low days by your comments and presence on this site.
Chugging along one day, one minute, one breath at a time.