Grief Isn't Just About Death...

Nov 13, 2008

Thanks for saying that
by: Anonymous

I know exactly what you mean. I had found someone who seemed to be almost like a twin brother to me. I loved and cared about him so much. Our relationship was never romantic - it was like a true friend or close sibling. We did so many things together and were always chatting on the computer for hours. I knew he was mentally ill - either bipolar or depression, and since I am, too, I just took that in stride - just one more thing in common and to talk about.

Until the day his craziness turned on me! In the blink of an eye - truly - he went from having a pleasant conversation with me to saying he hated me, cursing me, etc. He refuses to speak to me, see me, accept any calls or emails, which makes me feel so helpless to do anything about it.

There was no reason for the change and that's why it's so hard. And it hit me so hard - just like the way grieving is discussed here. I thought I was really losing it and no one around me could understand why it was having such a huge affect on me, so there was no one I could even talk to about it.

They either minimize it or try to tell me that he will cycle again and then he'll wonder why he acted that way and probably come back to being my friend. Maybe. But RIGHT NOW, he is gone and there is a hole inside me where he had been. And no way to know if he will ever change, because clearly, something tripped in his head that I don't know about.

For all I know, he thinks I am a monster and always will. And I still have to see him every day. We don't get close to each other because he doesn't want to be around me and to have to see him like that. At a distance, it's like having the scab peeled off fresh every day.

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Nov 13, 2008
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Submitted by: Anonymous

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I know exactly what you mean. I had found someone who seemed to be almost like a twin brother to me. I loved and cared about him so much. Our relationship was never romantic - it was like a true friend or close sibling. We did so many things together and were always chatting on the computer for hours. I knew he was mentally ill - either bipolar or depression, and since I am, too, I just took that in stride - just one more thing in common and to talk about. Until the day his craziness turned on me! In the blink of an eye - truly - he went from having a pleasant conversation with me to saying he hated me, cursing me, etc. He refuses to speak to me, see me, accept any calls or emails, which makes me feel so helpless to do anything about it. There was no reason for the change and that's why it's so hard. And it hit me so hard - just like the way grieving is discussed here. I thought I was really losing it and no one around me could understand why it was having such a huge affect on me, so there was no one I could even talk to about it. They either minimize it or try to tell me that he will cycle again and then he'll wonder why he acted that way and probably come back to being my friend. Maybe. But RIGHT NOW, he is gone and there is a hole inside me where he had been. And no way to know if he will ever change, because clearly, something tripped in his head that I don't know about. For all I know, he thinks I am a monster and always will. And I still have to see him every day. We don't get close to each other because he doesn't want to be around me and to have to see him like that. At a distance, it's like having the scab peeled off fresh every day.

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