It's been 4 & a half months since my son completed suicide I still feel so lost,sad, angry & the list goes on & on. I feel like I haven't moved an inch since his death it seems like yesterday. I started counselling, I read book after book about parents that lost a child nothing seems to console me. I hate this new life I'm forced to live, I want my old life back,how in the world do people survive after the loss of a child my son was 36yrs old. I pray & pray but it seems like God has chosen not to hear me,someone told me I needed medication.I am afraid if I start on medication it will just mask the pain & when I don't use it anymore I will have start my grief where I left off. This new life sucks.

Comments for grief

Click here to add your own comments

Feb 16, 2011
new life?
by: kay

I am hearing you..feeling your pain. It feels like yesterday to me....when I lost my 23 year old son. In fact its been 9 months...I cant stop crying today..his memory is so strong and alive.I miss him so badly. How are we supposed to live our new life? We dont have one of our precious children with us...a part of us....I dont like it either. I am thinking of you and all the other parents out there in a similar situation. We are not alone ....I am thinking of you and sending my love and a message of

Feb 11, 2011
not enough time
by: Anonymous

Go easy on yourself my still have lots of grieving time ahead of you. Four and a half months isn't enough. Don't let others tell you how long or how to grieve. Just follow your heart because only your heart knows how much you loved your son.

I lost my son 6 months ago yesterday to leukemia. He was sick for 2 years. He died almost to the day two years after his original hospitalization. I'll never forget his struggles or his strength and I'll never understand why God put him through so much only to take him away.

Hang in there....we are a sorry bunch but we have each other right now so this is the right place to come and share your grief because we all "get" it.
Hugs to you,

Feb 10, 2011
Please get some help

I do hope that someone with more experience with this type of grief will respond to your cry for help. I do know that nothing you could have done would have changed his mind, let him see through the pain that he was going through. And now you are left with the pain and guilt and I ask you to please go seek help. I can tell you that medication does not erase the grieving process.
You still feel and go through all of the stages.
Only when you feel strong enough would it be time to discuss getting off of them. But for now you are at a standstill. It is not healthy for you to continue on this way. You need to take care of yourself so that you will be strong enough to go through the grieving process. It cannot be forced or fast forwarded. It is and up and down back and forth process with some really miserable days and some better. Talking helps there have to be support groups for suicide. You are not alone Please please seek help.....

Feb 10, 2011
by: jules

I have not lost a child, but I have lost my husband - my best friend - and I have had times where I didn't think I would be able to go on.

I went on a course of mild anti depressants, to help me cope - they allowed me to clear my mind, put my thoughts in order, understand that there was nothing I could do to bring him back. I didn't become dependent on them, they were just one of the tools in helping me cope with my grief, I was on them for about four months, and I know that if I needed them again, I would most certainly go back to the doctor and get a new prescription.

You need time to grieve, but while your mind is in turmoil, you have so many thoughts going round in your head, you just end up going round in circles.

Please, go to your doctor, he will not put you on heavy medication at this stage, the new mild drugs just allow you to get a bit calmer, see things clearly, and decide where you want to go from here.

Come on this site often, the wonderful people on here will help you, listen to you and support you.
We have all been there in one way or another, so we do understand.

Always - every day - one step, one breath
take care

Feb 10, 2011
Just a step ahead
by: Anonymous

My heart goes out to you! We lost our 20 year old son Joey to suicide also on 10/10/09. So I am on the same road as you. Just a few steps ahead. It is the hardest thing we will ever have to do. We do survive in spite of ourselves.
I went on paxil for 9 months. It helped me to cope with life. And at the time, it fit the bill. I am now dealing with my grief. I wasn't ready before, nor was I strong enough. If you feel you might need some medication, It really is okay. It helps. What you need to do is just survive the day. For tomorrow is another day, which you don't have to worry about. Just be "here in today". I hope that makes sense to you.

I want to share with you something I have gotten out of a book that has given me some comfort. Because not much helps at first.

Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room. I am I, and you are you. Whatever we were to each other, we still are. Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference in your tone, wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Pray, smile, think of me, pray for me.

Let my name be ever the household word that is always was, let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was; there is unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner. All is well.

-Henry Scott Holland, canon of St. Paul's Cathedral, London

I pray that it will also give you some comfort. if ever you want to e-mail me, please do. My name is Linda Braun my e-mail is
Sending you a big hug!!!

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Adult Child.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!