Grieving Aunt

by Marcia Peacock
(Lakeland, Fl)

Self photo of Joel in Scrubs..jokin around

Self photo of Joel in Scrubs..jokin around

My 28 year old nephew passed away about 7 weeks ago. He was as close as one of my own children, however, I know he was not my child so therefore I know that I am only feeling a smidgen of the pain that my sister is feeling right now.

I feel such a loss for her and myself. I cannot accept it and I am sure she feels the same way. I just try to be there for her and occupy the time if she wants to do anything to get away. I sent her this website as I think it has tremendous information that I think she can use.

He was to graduate from nursing school this Dec. He passed away from an accidental prescription overdose. This is an epidemic in this country and in my state of Florida. There is an article everyday of someone who has passed away due to the prescription pain killers.

Just wanted to say thanks for this website.

Comments for Grieving Aunt

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Aug 28, 2014
Lost my nephew
by: Anonymous

I lost my nephew of 191/2 years more than 3 months ago.
I can't get over his death.I miss him every day .

May 25, 2014
two gone in ten years
by: Anonymous

I lost my niece in 2003 at 11 months old, she had a genetic dease although we knew she would die when she did it was still a great shock. I remember her smile through the pain she felt and the longing to bring her home for Xmas but instead we buried her the day before. On the second of Jan she would have been one year old. Her chocolate brown hair and brown eyes are always in my thoughts. She never got to walk or crawl or even stand on her own and she will never get to grow up. Although we have gone on living every child born in my family since I have had a deep fear of losing before they make it to even a year old.
Then last year in November my dear nephew passed away at only 7 years old. I hadn't seen him in more then 2 years because of a family fight.
Now I will never get to see him or hold him again. I can remember the last time I seen him and he was sick with asthma and sat on my lap the whole day just snuggled up. I told him how much I loved him all day long. He passed from an asthma attack. It only took two mins and he was gone. I guess his little lungs couldn't fight it any longer after years of attacks. His older brother and three younger siblings all suffer from it too. Ending up in hospital one after another right after we buried there brother and in the days leading up to the funeral.
I am always scared of losing another niece or nephew or one of my own children.
I feel alone in this horror and dread.
There's no one I can talk to and no groups around here either.
My nephew like my niece was so close to his birthday on boxing day.
And it works out they both died just before Xmas an there birthdays both after it but the strange thing is my sons was born the year after my niece passed on Xmas day and my nephew's born the day after my son they were one day n one year apart.


In my heart I hold to baby Angel's forever and always, There smiles will forever remain the same there as they fly in heaven today
Katrina & Darcy Aunty will always love you xo

Feb 20, 2013
Missing my nephew
by: Anonymous

I know how you feel. I also lost my nephew when he was 13. It has been just over 14 months since we lost him.

I don't have children and have always been close to him as well as my other nephew and my niece. He was my first nephew, my brother's first child.

His loss has been devastating. I know what it means to have your world completely stop. For your world to be turned upside down, to change forever. I remember the exact moment when that phone call came. I remember thinking that my sister-in-law is thinking the worst....that he'd be ok. He'd have to be ok. He couldn't be dead...how can that be? It didn't make any sense. I understand how people go through denial....I wasn't sure what to think. I needed my Mom to confirm it for me hours after my sister-in-law had already confirmed the worst.

Everything now goes back to that one moment in time. Here one minute, gone the next. Everything is defined in terms of before and after.

And in spite of all the hurt and turmoil, we all move forward. Time moves in a surreal way. It seems like just yesterday he was here but it's been over 14 months. The hurt never goes away. I think about him every day. Sometimes it's harder than other times. It's still such a difficult concept to grasp. It's hard to put into words.

www.gaspinfo.com - If you're reading this, please take the time to visit this website. Educate yourself and pass the message on. My nephew's death was tragic and could have been prevented. Help stop this dangerous activity.


Dec 26, 2012
Missing JB on Christmas
by: Marlena Fleming

Gone Already
A piercing scream, a gut wrenching feeling in the belly

Yelling and screaming, anger and rage

Frustration, torment and inner turmoil

Not that, anything but that

Not him Lord, no not him

I was crying and he was already gone

No more songs or lullabies, kisses goodnight or
standing twirl around flights or night lights

Just gone, taken in the midst and in an abyss

How could death be so cruel?
Where were they how could they not know he was gone already

It hurts so bad, so much pain felt like a stab to the chest

How could the one I prayed over constantly, cried out for desperately, constant intercession

Be gone already…there is a missing piece of my sunshine

Holidays are a bit harder to endure without you here can’t believe you’re gone already, my inner light is dimmer, you were my shimmer J.B.
I didn’t have him long enough I needed more kisses, more blowing out candles more birthday wishes

More birthday gifts, a chance to catch a fish, how could you be gone already

Who knew pain could feel like this with a need to suppress because if I let it all hang out

I would lose my will to function

How could you be gone already, I still needed to hug you I still needed to love you, still needed to touch you but your gone

Your last day of play, last day of smiles….why did death have to be so cruel to you
God please provide comfort, give peace to a hurt heart

It’s painful to think about you being gone, it’s painful to think about the tears I cried that day
I had hoped that God would make a way and surprise me by us finding you and everything being ok but the good news never came you were gone already

It’s painful to think about the tears, how could you be gone

How could you be gone already when we had so much time left to share?

How can I ever feel complete again knowing that there is a place in my heart with a small cutout?
Too much to bear an ugly snare and a cut with a jagged knife

How can pain feel like this, twisted contorted body because the pain is running deep
I need restoration, how can I bounce back from a pain that’s started to seep into my soul realm

Give me total healing cause I can’t imagine continuing to live this life with this hole on the inside

Call me te-te again, I missed that I’ve missed it
since I last heard it

My only wish is that I get to hear you say that again

This love runs so deep and I wish you weren’t gone already so you can feel it

Sep 27, 2012
Grieving my Nephew Baby Angel
by: Aunt Nancy

I lost my 11 year old nephew on September 22,2012. He passed so young and I just can't seem to get over the shock. He accidentally hung himself on his bunk bed. He always did flips and what not and got caught on his patrol belt that he always had hanging from the top bunk so he wouldnt forget it in the morning. He loved Spiderman and sometimes role play like he was Spiderman. I can't imagine what my brother and sister-in-law are going through but I miss him so much and in so much heartache just knowing how he passed. I will always remember the times we spent talking about how I was going to show up at his school in a Spiderman costume and he said only if I could crawl up the walls if not forget it. We laughed so hard. Love you always my baby Angel

Sep 12, 2012
Same here
by: Anonymous

My beautiful niece grew up two doors down from us. My husband and I have 5 boys and my sis and her hubby have 4 girls and a boy. Amanda was the oldest. Died in a car accident. She was pregnant and a mom of a 6 month old. She was 26 and beautiful. I truly felt that I had lost a child even though i am " just an aunt". Her daughter would only let me hold her during her moms funeral because i am the one that did things with them while she was alive and the little girl knew me. It is so hard sometimes when people act like i am nothing but "the aunt". Hurts again everytime someone talks that way. Laurie

Jul 02, 2012
mourning my nephew
by: Anonymous

My families world came to a halting stop Wednesday June 27 at 4:10 PM...My 16 year old nephew was killed in an automobile accident. My youngest son was at my mothers house which is right next door to my sisters home. I will never forget the fear and horror in my 14 year old son's voice...he said there had been an accident and it was bad. I could hear my mom screaming in the background. My 17 year old son and I rushed to my sisters house...The pain in my sister and brother in laws eyes was something I can't even explain in words. I hate the pain my sister is in..I wish I could take it away. It still feels like a bad dream we will wake up from. I don't know know what to do to help!! I miss him badly!!

Jun 27, 2012
my tyshuan
by: jordan

January 26 2012 I went though tha worse thing I have even endured me n my family were on my the way 2 get my first car I was so exicted,but thanks to tha carelessness of a 16 wheller driver we never made it. The truck kept swervin in and out of our lane so my mother who was driven had ta swerve to keep him from killing us all n tha truck still hit us n ran us off tha road the car flipped 5 times across the highway b4 it hit tha highway sing n stoped my daughter n sister weren't physically hurt me n my mom were trapped n tha car I was unconsicous n my cousin brother n nephew were ejected from tha car. My nephew had 6 fractures in his skull and didn't survive. And now I'm tha one who's nt makin it I dk how to express my hurt without making my sister and mommy hurt worse sumbdy plz help me I'm loseing it!

Jun 18, 2012
Another grieving aunt
by: Anonymous

15 days ago I experienced the worst traumatic experience in my life. My 12 year nephew died during what was supposed to be a fun family vacation. My nephew lost his life when he fell of a cliff at a sight seeing. I too, feel my sister’s pain and find myself lost in words or ways to help my poor sister and brother-in-law. It’s hard to understand why my family and I have to be chosen to live through such tragedy WHY US? I question daily, WHY US?

May you rest in piece my beloved nephew. May God have your in his glory and I pray that one day we will all be reunited again my love!

I love baby!

Apr 22, 2012
Another grieving aunt
by: Anonymous

This Thursday it will be 1 year since my 81/2 year old nephew passed away due to an illness called Alagille's syndrome. There is not a day that goes by that I don't miss him there is not a day that goes by that I don't hide it from my sister - his mother - as I can't even imagine what her pain must be...

Dec 28, 2011
Grieving Aunt
by: Anonymous

Dear Grieving Aunt,

My 16 year old nephew died by suicide in June of this year, 2011. I too feel your pain and experience the hopelessness of how to help my dear sister. I have told her that I am here for her, always. I sometimes text her instead of calling because it is unbearable for her to talk. She feels worse now, 6 months later. Be in contact with her regularly. Don't let her be alone. We cannot fix this, but we can keep our sisters from being alone.

A

Dec 08, 2011
Loss of my 14 year old nephew
by: Wendy

I just lost my 14 year old nephew to suicide last week. Although, my pain is great my sister's is unimaginable. Can you please give me tips on how to help my sister through this terrible loss. I'm also looking for any advice for my own grieving process.

Zach McDonald
01/97- 12/2/2011

Jul 18, 2011
Another grieving aunt
by: Kathy

I'm a grieving aunt also - my 15 month old niece died on July 15,2010. It's been a horrible blow to my family. My niece died when she was with my mom and mom doesn't remember what happened. I have to separate time for myself to grieve over my loss, to think about my brother's loss; I can't even imagine what my brother is going through. It's to difficult to speak about her with my immediate family because of the circumstances around her death.
Take care of yourself, also. A local compassionate friend group has kindly let me join their group; I can get support there.

Jun 11, 2009
Dear Grieving Aunt
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry for your loss and your sorrow. As a mother who lost a young son to an equally horrible epidemic a few months ago - suicide, I know your shock, anguish and pain.

Because it was my son and my own grief is so great, I sometimes forget that my sisters, brothers, mother, etc. are grieving too. Your sister needs you now, and you need her now.

I suggest you tell your sister that you are thinking about your nephew and that you, too, miss him terribly. I know that I wish my family would tell me that and talk about my son. Talk about your nephew, talk about his life and his death. Let your sister talk about him. Allow your sister to cry and cry with her. Do these things every week or every day if you need to, this month and next month and next year and every year after that. This will provide both of you some relief and allow you to grieve. If your sister is not willing or able to do these things with you, find someone who will.

I also suggest a grief support group. These are people who understand exactly what you're going through and are there because they do want to talk about their loved one, their loss and their feelings. Depending on the relationship you have with your sister, you may want to encourage her to attend as well. Even if she doesn't, go anyway.

It is a very long process and I can see that I am only beginning this unwelcome journey as are you.

I wish you bits of peace in the days and years to come. We will never forget these young men and I hope for a time when the sadness has purpose for us.

A Mom

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