Grieving Guatemala

I moved to Guatemala leaving my job, friends, apartment, security, financial stability and my confidence behind. After I got there, the support of the partner that had seduced me to move there vanished. I lost all of the dreams I had of what we would accomplish together, the garden I created, the mural that I painted, the two dogs that I had loved, the partnership of a restaurant that was promised, the home that we were to create together, the loving kindness that was crudely revoked with no warning.

I lost all of the hard work and effort that I put forth- all of it going unnoticed and criticized for not being the right efforts or enough. He began looking at me as if I was a stranger on the street. I didn't have anyone, everyone I knew through him. Then I had to leave all of my belongings behind because there was no way to send them back to myself. I lost 21 boxes of everything that I had worked my entire life to have.

Now, I am grieving the loss of my life in Guatemala as I struggle to rebuild in New York, even though I didn't desire to come back. I had to to survive financially. There has been so much grief I don't even know where I am in the process.

Comments for Grieving Guatemala

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Aug 19, 2010
You are strong!
by: Terri

You have been through alot. You are still standing and still thriving.
I wish I could help you, but things are still hectic for me.
I hope you build yourself up enough to some day go back, I hope you stay determined to thrive strongly and I hope you have a support system to help you!
Don't worry about what stage your in, you will get through this, just let yourself feel what you need to, to be able to process this all.
Thank you for sharing with us!

Aug 19, 2010
for grieving Guatamala
by: mariana

I am sorry you have gone through all this. It is truly sad. I realize it is very hard to have to start over from scratch.
I have done it myself.
I feel that it is time for you start over and try to let go of the past. You might look at it as an adventure and try to make it fun. What happened is in the past and the sorrow will eventually fade.
Look for pretty things for your place in New York without spending too much money. Tell yourself that you will succeed and just need time.
Sometimes life hands us raw deals and all we can do is begin again. You cannot change what has happened to you but you can make it better if you try to think positive.
I remember when I was married before and my husband said he wanted me to send my daughter to her father as she was a lot of trouble at age 13. We lived in a home provided by the company he worked for and so it was I who had to get out. I always made my home nice, welcomed any friends of his or co-workers and in general made his life pleasant.
And here he wanted me to get rid of my daughter.
So my daughter and I left and I realized my husband had left me with an out of control teenager. He turned out to be the loser when he wanted me back and I told him I would never give up on my daughter and that she could not be replaced. I also told him that he could be replaced and within 24 hours if I so desired. That is how angry I was.
Then along came the man who said he would help me with her and she would be fine. I married him and he sure did help me raise her. I lost him on 11-22-09 as he went to be with the Lord.
My daughter is now 33 and has surpassed my wildest dreams. She is a wonderful wife, mother and daughter.
Please do not allow discouragement to rule you. Just start over and find joy in your every accomplishment. Take care. You can get through it. God is in the business of new beginnings.

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