I moved to Guatemala leaving my job, friends, apartment, security, financial stability and my confidence behind. After I got there, the support of the partner that had seduced me to move there vanished. I lost all of the dreams I had of what we would accomplish together, the garden I created, the mural that I painted, the two dogs that I had loved, the partnership of a restaurant that was promised, the home that we were to create together, the loving kindness that was crudely revoked with no warning.
I lost all of the hard work and effort that I put forth- all of it going unnoticed and criticized for not being the right efforts or enough. He began looking at me as if I was a stranger on the street. I didn't have anyone, everyone I knew through him. Then I had to leave all of my belongings behind because there was no way to send them back to myself. I lost 21 boxes of everything that I had worked my entire life to have.
Now, I am grieving the loss of my life in Guatemala as I struggle to rebuild in New York, even though I didn't desire to come back. I had to to survive financially. There has been so much grief I don't even know where I am in the process.