Grieving mom

by Leticia Hughes
(LaCrescenta Ca.)

Losing my son who was a single father of five children had die in a horrible accident on his way to work that morning of September 14 2012 in the early A.M. He had a heart attack and rolled over his car several times without hurting anyone else. My son was the oldest of three of my children. He died at the scene. I wasn't contact until later that day. His suburban was smash as a pancake. It was on the news and I wasn't home yet from work until I got that call. My wonderful son was a great single father that was very active with his children in school as well in sports. There were inseparable . He was loved by some many people and was a great son, father brother and grandson. My grandchildren have no one else then us. I miss him so much that I can't stop crying and grieving over his loss. He had touch so many lives that there were 300 people at his services. It was very touching. Please help me deal with his loss. I cry all the time missing him and knowing I won't hear his voice every again and the kids don't have there daddy they looked up too. Please help me get through this heartbreaking times were all suffering. I am still in denial. Keep asking why did this had to happen to us. I was a loving mother and also support our children. I feel I can't go on without him. I miss him so much. I am so depress and seeing a doctor. I still can't shake it or move on.

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Apr 12, 2014
Grieving mom
by: Leti

It's going to be 2 yrs on Sept 14. I that I was doing good with my support groups, but I'm on a roller coaster. Today has been a really bad day for me. I'm missing my son Jimmy so very much. Every time i take a baby step it takes me back. I feel sometimes I'm losing my mind. I'm injured from a car accident on the fwy and he total my car. So I'm disable until I have my surgery. In the mean time my heartaches because my daughter has took over and my ex husband the children because of my condition. They make it hard for them to see them. It hurts so much. Sometimes I wish I could go and be with my son. My second to the oldest is so wonderful and has supportive me in so many way. God has bless me with my boys, but on the other my daughter is as cold as ice with me. I've ask her and all she says she doesn't want to talk about it. She thinks that when Jimmy lived with me I wasn't watching e was eating. But I did my best to feel him healthy. My heart broken in pieces, I've lost a son and now my daughter.

Mar 21, 2014
Grieving mom
by: Leti

Your so right survive 101, you will never get over it. It will take a long time for me. I'm taking baby steps. I'm allowing to grieve and cry and punch my pillow just to feel that awful feeling that will always be in our hearts. It's going to be 2 years since my son Jimmy has left this world and it still hurts like *ell!. I miss him so much, but I know that we will be back together again when it's my time to go. I have the faith and the hope. I pray and read my bible that helps me know that we all will be united again. My grandchildren are doing very well. I thank The Lord for that. I don't care about me as much as I do for his children. I want them to heal and do my very best to talk about all the positive and silly things he would do to make his children laugh. He was such a very humble and happy young man. I still have my bad days that I look at my sons pictures and ask WHY GOD!..why couldn't you take me?. I pray for all of us to help us ease the pain in our hearts. We will never be the same again. I know I won't and have learned never to take life for granted. God bless you. Sincerely, Leti

Mar 21, 2014
Grieving mom
by: Leticia Hughes

Dianne, I don't think we will ever get over this tradgy. I miss my son terribly. There is not one day that I don't think of him and wish this was a bad dream. I feel your pain. No one has no idea the pain we have in our hearts. It's a void that never goes away. I pray a lot for all of us. As you said none of us wants to be part of this club, but we are unfortunately . My grandchildren are doing awesome. They have all of us and we give them lots of love, besides that my son instilled great family values in them as well as being respectful and great manners that you don't see that often anymore in this generation. They have faith in our Lord and has read with me that our Lord will reunite us again with our love once. It's me that I have my moments that I miss him so much and pray a lot for the strength for me and our grandchildren. This Sept 14, will be two years he's been gone and I'm like a emotional roller coaster . I know we need to have the faith in God and only hope will be together again. My other two children that were younger then Jimmy help us so much and I thank The Lord for my wonderful family that help us out. I know in time the pain will ease but the love we carry in our hearts for our loss love once will never go . God bless you and will continue to pray for all of us that are grieving away. God will bring us all together again. I do have that faith. God bless you Dianna. You can't always express your feelings on my post. We all know how unbearable to lose someone we loved soo dearly. Sincerely, Leticia ( grieving mom)

Nov 08, 2013
Grieving mom
by: Leticia

Goog morning Dianne, I just want to see how your doing. I pray for all of us. Just like you wrote me by saying non of us want to be in this party. You hit that on a nail!! None of us should never have these tradgies happen th any parent. Please know your still in my prayers and I also are taking baby steps one day at a time. My grandchildren are doing better then I expected. It took me longer to realizes he wasn't coming home again. This support group and wonderful book my sister send from Florida does make you understand and makes us realizes we will see our babies. The name of this wonderful book is called JESUS CALLING. I wish for all too get better and not be stuck in the one place I call hell. I hope your moving forward. I just had you in mind. God bless you and all of us that have lose someone that should of stayed longer. I will be continuing to pray for us all. Leticia ( grieving )

Sep 28, 2013
Dianne
by: Leticia

I am sorry for your loss. It's a mothers worse nightmare. My son also left behind five children. Through prayers and grieving support, I have been much better. I still have my bad days as well as good days. But your right. We have there children. Our grandbabies. They mean the world to me. I just hope and pray there not traumatizes with the loss of there dad. He was there world. God bless you. I will keep you all in my prayers. Leticia ( Grieving Mom )

Sep 17, 2013
Grieving mom
by: Leticia Hughes

This last Saturday Sept 14, has been a year my son has left this earth. It's been a very long process. I have being going to support groups and pray daily for strength. I really didn't know and was scared for this day to come. I did cry a little, but I know my son is at peace. I have come to understand and know he is with our lord. This has helped so much in so many ways by becoming more spiritual and understanding we will be together again. My faith has help me through this whole ordeal. A year ago I would not feel this way or even try to understand not having him. His children are doing so great and are happy. They also know daddy is right with them in spirit. I truly would suggest to everyone to go get help through a grieving group. This has got me through these tough times. I am at peace now. I will always remember my son and will alway know we will see each other again. Grieving mom

Aug 18, 2013
Your pain
by: Dianne

How my heart goes out to you, I lost my darling son my soul mate suddenly in December 2012 he left 5 beautiful sons. The eldest of who lives with me. People tell me that he will live on in his children but still my heart screams for my own child. How we survive I don't know feels like auto pilot. But survive you will my dear because as much as our spirt is broken as much as we want to scream and rage. We will protect whose parts of our wonderful sons that are left. Our grandchildren. God bless you this is a journey that no mother should make ever and I so don't want to be in this club, but I am and you are and it hurts like hell.

Apr 10, 2013
Grieving mom
by: Leticia

Thank you Doreen for those kind words. It is unnatural to loss a child, let alone a grow man that you raised. I know it's going to take me a long time before I can see this world differently .i know I need to take one day at a time. It's very hard to do. The grieving is overwhelming . I have no desire to do much. I am looking for a grieve support sessions to help me cope. Never in my life I would I have thought I would have lose a son.. The children fatherless breaks my heart even more so. Thank you for your support.

Apr 08, 2013
Grieving Mom
by: Doreen U.K.

Leticia I am sorry for your loss of your son. What a tragedy and great loss to die so young and leave 5 children without a father. This is such a cruelty in life to go through. You could benefit greatly from seeing a good grief counsellor for support. To lose a child/Adult child is the worst experience a mother can go through. A mother carries this child for 9 months and nurtures this child to a man and then the loss is so great. I have 3 Adult children and I know how fragile and vulnerable I feel if I should lose one of them. This would be so very unbearable.
I lost my husband of 44yrs. 11 months ago to lung cancer which was incurable, and inoperable. This is the worst loss I could go through. I am not surprised you are in denial. This is normal and can happen for a long time. I think after 11 months I may just be coming out of DENIAL. I can't believe he is never coming back and this hurts all the more. It is so very hard going through life with each loss of a loved one. Our days become numb and meaningless and it is so very hard to even look after and care for the one's we have left. It feels somewhat as if our world has stopped and we are in a state of shock we just can't come out of.
I have dreams of my husband almost every night now. In my dreams he is ALIVE and I get so happy and exited that he didn't die. Of course when I wake up it is a different story. My first thought goes out to the REALITY. I don't know if in my dreams this anxiety and grief is coming out and part of the healing process? I hate the days and life. It has lost it's meaning. We try our best to care for the one's we have left, but this is so very difficult to do. Our world has literally been turned upside down and this is how we feel. some losses we grieve more for and some we never get over. But to GET THROUGH this is all we can do one day at a time.

Apr 07, 2013
Surviving grief 101
by:

you don't shake grief, you don't move on you adapt and that takes time. I know I hated to hear "It take time" too but you need to understand grief is not an itinerary the 5 or 7 stages of grief can not be gone through in a linier (sp) fashion. it can not be rushed just survived with one breath one step at a time.

You are in the beginning of grief. You have many miles to walk. The first year is just a daze surviving the days. All the milestones birthdays anniversarys and memories.

Everyones grief is different but being 3 years in I am finding some contentment within my life yet grief remains. I do not try to shake it.

My loss makes me who I am it is part of my past it is what made me stronger. Grief is what made me understand what is important and what is not worth sweating over. Grief made me proud too and it took some doing.

Because grief is the one thing that no one can do for you Grief makes you start all over again as in puberty to understand who you are all over again. It is a painful self awareness that makes us stronger.

It helps us understand the beauty within the world that we were too busy to see and unable to see in early grief. But we reach for those moments the wisps of joy that keep us sane and help us smile a weak smile and go on another day.

Do not rush grief allow it to wash over you like a strong wave, breath and begin again. Over and over until you can see the sun its warmth and the beauty of the day that stands before you...
HH

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