Guilt and missing my bestfriens
I lost my dad in March of 2014 very unexpectedly; he was a healthy 70 year old who acted more like 50. My husband and I had a baby 7 months prior and my parents watched her when I returned to work. My dad would come over first then my mom a few hours later. That morning my husband wasn't going to work until later in the day and for some reason I never told my dad not to come. He slipped on ice getting out of the car and hit his head very hard. He was on a blood thinner for precautions against a stroke/heart attack. We took him to the local hospital immediately where he was evaluated and all his tests including a ct scan came back clear. They told is to keep an eye on him and wake him up every few hours but everything should be okay. 9 times out of 10 problems show up immediatly. The following day he came over to watch my daughter and ended up going home around 1 that day when my mom got there bc he had a slight headache. I usually call him 5x a day and that afternoon I just didn't...around 5 when I got home from work he called my mom to take him to the hospital as his headache had gotten much worse. He walked in to the er, have his name and shortly there after slipped in to a coma and never came back. He had a massive brain hemorrhage due to a bleed from the head injury that left him with irreversible brain damage. They transported him to boston where they tried surgery etc.
Not a second goes by that I don't think about him and feel responsible for his death. I am an only child and was very close to my father. I can't help but feel responsible for this happening, had he not come over that morning this wouldn't have happened or if the hospital had kept him over night. I feel guilty in so many ways and can't help but wonder if god is "punishing" me for something.
Any advice is welcome as each day seems to get more difficult.