by Hana Romano
I lost my beloved mom to very aggressive brain tumor Glioblastoma Multiforme, on August 11,2005.It started on May 25, 2003.
I was in Pennsylvania, working as a baby-sitter, and when I came home from New York, I had an email from our neighbor that my mom was in the hospital in life-threatening conditions.
She worked in Austria as a caregiver to an old lady, and on the way back home to the Czech Republic, my mom fell down, and in the hospital they found out she had a brain tumor.
Then, I called my younger sister to North Carolina. When she answered the phone, she was so happy, and I almost didn't want to tell her this horrible news about our mom. I'll never forget her scream on the phone!!!!!!!!!So painful to hear it!!
We arranged the flight back home to the Czech Republic for May 27, 2003. When we got back to the Czech Republic, we went right away to the hospital. When we got to the Neurosurgery, my mom had a controlling MRI after her surgery. So we had to wait a little bit. Then, we heard her voice, and nurses were pushing her bed. When she saw us, she couldn't believe. We prepared ourselves for the worst, but my mom was always a brave fighter and she could move and talk. I was so happy that we didn't loose her.
My brave mom had 5 brain surgeries, and the last one before Christmas. My sister brought her home the day before Christmas on December 23.
The doctors told us that it was the last surgery and that they couldn't do nothing anymore. We got the report from the hospital telling that my mom already had some spots on her brain again. My mom had radiation and oral chemotherapy. It worked for almost the whole year of 2004. Then, she started going down, she stopped speaking and she was only laying in bed. Since May, 2003 I decided to stay with my mom at home as her caregiver, and my sister went to work. We had no other help,it was only us. We fed,washed etc.her. I was 29 and my sister was 25 when our mom passed away. We had nobody, we were alone on our own. I cried and cry for her every day, miss her terribly, feel empty without her,all hurts so much. In 2010 I myself was diagnosed with Breast cancer,I think due to my mom's loss.The pain was/is so tense,all these memories that I cherish.I dream about her that I want to safe her life,talking to doctors and hugging her.I remember her smile,how she took care of us as best she could so genuine.I'm sitting here crying and thinking about her because today is her name day,Milada and tomorrow 02/09/is her birthday,she is 63. Happy Birthday Mom,love you,miss you,you are always with me everywhere.I thought we had more time to do things. I wanted to do so many things for you.I apologize I was bad to you when you were sick,but I would never leave you when you needed me, you knew I loved you.I stand near forever,remember?You gave me b-day card with two elephants,mom and baby and below was written "I stand near".I often look at the sky and think of you...wait for me:There's a million questions that I have inside,
And a million more that keep coming to mind,
Like where are you now and are you free from all your pain?
If someone asked you about me would you even remember my name?
I know you would. Thank you mom for everything you did for me...I miss you, my heart is so empty without you.Love you!!
Hana and Andrea