Hanan Rafidi kamar

by Hanan
(Jerusalem, Israel )

My mum passed away 11th July\ 2012. She was only 55 years old. She had been diagnosed with breast cancer that had spread to the liver. Just a month ago, my mum was feeling good, I traveled and left my two kids with her. She had a lot of dreams . On Monday, the 2nd of July, she became very ill, doctors said she is terminally ill. Myself and my two brothers refused to listen . We coordinated with ambulances to take her to Jordan. She stayed there for 9 days. In the first few days, she had shown progress and looked better, but all of the sudden she started to have blue signs under her skin, doctors said her plasma is very low and should not move!. On Wednesday, 11th of July, the day she passed, doctors told us "take her back to her country, there is nothing that we can do ". We insisted that she will be okay if she gets the proper medications .
At the end, we gave up and decided to take her back to the West Bank. She arrived at 8.30 pm and passed at 09.50 pm .

We were all there waiting for any news from the doctors who took her to the ICU. Everybody told me calm down , she will be okay. My husband and my brother gave me a juice and insisted that I should take it because I looked very pale and tired. Just after her funeral in few days, I discovered that they put sedative medicine for me in the juice and waited for two hours before informing me about her death . The news was like a disaster, I cried and cried and still crying. I can't believe it . Everyday I am missing her more and more. She was everything , not noly a mum but a friend and a sister. I have no sisters but never felt I need any because she played the role perfectly . Now I am alone, miserable, pessimistic, unable to concentrate on anything other than her death.

Comments for Hanan Rafidi kamar

Click here to add your own comments

Aug 10, 2012
I really appreciate your letter
by: Hanan Kamar

Dear Susan, I would like to express my sorrow for your loss. It is very awful and painful to lose ones mum. Around a month ago, my mum passed and I still have the same pain, may be more!. I really appreciate your sympathy with my story and hope that you never encounter more sadness in your life . Your feelings of loneliness is very similar to what I feel, as I really feel alone. Sometimes i tell myself I should have not got myself that much attached to her, because now she had gone and I am suffering alone, feeling pain, missing her and even feel very angry for all what happened .

Thanks again for your letter and we will keep in touch .


Jul 28, 2012
I lost my mom Jul 3
by: Anonymous

Dear Hanana,
I'm so sorry about your mom..... I know you feel awful and its a shock... you rmom was so young. I'm 50 years old and I just lost my mom who was 87 of a sudden heart attack.. I loved her dearly and now both my parents are gone and I feel apin and sadness everyday.. There is nothig I can say to you that will make your loss less bareable.. I know that it will take time... I hope you can have some good days but I'm told that it just takes time... I will never forget my mom and although she was 87 I still think of myseld as a kid and her my mom and that is something I will never forget... I wish you peace in the next coming months... if you need to talk feel free to contact me at susantaylor_65@hotmail.com. I'm here if you need someone.

Jul 27, 2012
I am really sorry for your loss Tyler
by: Hanan Rafidi Kamar

Dear Tyler, your story touched my heart!. I understand very well the pain and the void you are talking about. I hope that both of us manage to continue her live the way our mums wanted.

I am praying for my mum everyday, I will pray for yours' also.
Again, I really appreciate your sympathy and I hope that my story helps you also to feel that you are not alone in this pain. I am available all the time to hear you. Even if you don't write me , I will think all the time of you and your pain .

Hanan Kamar

Jul 26, 2012
I hear you
by: Tyler

My mom passed away July 9th 2012. Liver failure. We were told at first by a specialist that her liver wasn't that bad and that she had 'several' years left--that prognosis changed daily with the doctors--who didn't seem to know what they were doing. It was up and down for six weeks...each day they'd tell us something new...give her a matter of days to live...then hours...then back to weeks left to live...then back to months...then back to days and hours. That made things so much worse. I understand what you mean when you say your mom was your best friend...my mom was my best friend. I was there in the room with my brother when she died...a memory I guess I'll take to the grave. Now there is just a void...a vast, endless void that hangs over me all day, no matter where I am. I can't believe she's gone. I can't wrap my mind around it. Makes no sense at all. It's the hardest thing I'll ever deal with--I know that now. I've asked friends who've lost parents if the void eventually goes away...they say it doesn't...but you learn to live with it. They say the first year is the worst...so I guess I only have eleven months and two weeks to go until I can feel better again. So, just wanted you to know that you're not alone...I'm here on the other side of the world, in similar pain...if that's any consolation.


Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Moms.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!