happened all too quick!
on september 2011 ( 4 months ago ) my dad said he needed to go to the doctor because he was having chest pains and shortness of breath. i didnt really take any notice of it and just thought it was normal. about a week later on my results day of my gcses i got a phone call saying my dad was in hospital because of his chest pains, i was so worried because nothing like it has ever happened before he was so fit and healthy all the time that it came a bit of a shock. but the next day he was aloud out and everything started getting back to normal the doctors said they wasnt sure what it was but its nothing to worry about so i just forgot about it. although he kept getting problems like swollen ankles heart pains and lack of energy. he kept coming and going to the doctors and hospital for tests and results for months. it became pretty normal to me and i just didnt take much notice they found that he had alot of fluid in his body thats why it kept getting swoling his body up and they just didnt worry too much about the chest pains, but then about this time last month he said he needed to go to hospital because he didnt feel right so we got someone to take him quickly and he stayed in a few nights, of cause i was worried but i still didnt take much notice of it as i am only 16 and thought he was fine and he didnt have anything major serious especially when they let him out again and said theres nothing big to worry about. but the day after he was released he had to go back in as he was coughing up blood i felt so bad he really didnt want to go back in he hated it there so much. they found what caused it because he was coughing so much he tore a muscle so thats where the blood was coming from. he wasnt aloud back out though and had to stay in. then about 3 weeks ago my sister came round saying they know whats wrong with him, i knew what it was when i saw her reaction and it was ... cancer! He had bone cancer, i couldnt believe it i knew he was ill but not this ill i felt sick and couldnt breath. but my sister reassured me saying they caught it really early and its only a little bit of medication and then he'll be fine. so i started to get used to the idea and accept it, he was getting better after all hoping that before i knew it everything would be back to normal. i visited him all the time. but then just over a week ago he was aloud to come home but when he got up he collapsed .. twice. his girl friend went to have a meeting with the doctors and we all found out it was actually terminal cancer and he only has a few months left. i felt numb, sick could not stop crying all thoughs time i though i hated him made me feel so bad for never appreciating him i hate my self for it. he was able to come out and i started to cope with the idea that i only had months left with him i had many plans on what we would do and everything .. but once again a bomb hit me.. this time last week i thought i had months left with my dad and i was going to be so careful with them... but he didnt even make it his first week home and died three days ago. he had a fall in the night and was rushed to hospital i thought he'll be ok and will come home soon then i got the call saying he only has hours left. was the hardest thing i will ever have to go through in my entire life. luckily i was there for him when he went and i told him i loved him with my family even though my brother and sister didnt make it he wasnt really with it so we told him they were. i still cant believe it. i still cant believe that i didnt even realise i loved him this much, i already miss him a ridiculously amount and will never stop. i just hope he's in a better place now and is happy with my mum who died over 10 years ago. i hope more then anything this will get easier i know its only been a couple of days and i have a loooong way to go but im not saying bye im just saying see you later. im going to have a good happy life and do him proud and then when its my time i'll go see him and my mum again and be with them forever.