Well thanksgivings gone, I survived. His birthday hit really really hard, but I survived. Christmas well its over also. No frills, no tree, only a few presents nothing like what it would have been if Bryan was still here. I didn't want to do anything, but I got up and cooked all day (for the kids). It was so lonely not having him in the kitchen every half an hour just making sure everything was ok and I didn't need his help for anything. Soooo lonely, I feel like Scrooge. bah, humbug. I feel the same way about the new year, how am I going to survive, bah, humbug. Maybe a new year but no happy in it. But I will continue on, praying for the Lord and Bryan to please help me. Like most of you my motto has become one breath, one step. I hope that as time goes on I can lose this scrooge that has been thrust into my life. Bryan, please make him go away, I don't like him. Please help me to, if not be happy, to at least be a little less sad. I miss you soooo much, I love you baby
I was reading a book today entitled GOD IS IN THE TOUGH STUFF. I too have been praying for God to ease my pain and give me a sign that my husband is OK. There was a message in this book telling me to be patient. Sometimes we feel as if God isn't listening, but he is. My problem is that I want what I'm praying for right now. We have to be patient.
God's blessings to you and your family in 2011. We grieve so hard because we loved so deeply.
