Has it really been a year

by Chris

"And can it be that in a world so full and busy the loss of one creature makes a void so wide and deep that nothing but the width and depth of eternity can fill it up!"-- Charles Dickens (1812-1870)

Yesterday it was one year since my husband Mark died. While I had been thinking about this date for a while, I came across a post on here that said they used their anniversary to thank the people who helped them over the past year and I thought that was an excellent idea. While there were many people who have helped me over the last year and my family has been tremendous, the following friends I could not have lived without:

"The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of confusion or despair, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate
not knowing... not healing... not curing... that is a friend indeed."--Henri Nouwen

Dawn- Your flexibility in my schedule and work assignments and your moral support were invaluable and I wouldn't be able to return to work w/o you.
Lesley- I thank you for your help w/ my paperwork, your running companionship, your friendship and the numerous little things you did.
Peggy- Thank you for reaching out to me even though we had never formally met. I will be forever grateful to you for recommending "I'm Grieving as Fast as I Can".

Colleen- Thank you for meeting me every Tuesday to run/walk - you probably didn't realize how much you were my lifeline in those early weeks. I would have crumbled if you skipped a Tuesday.
Elaine- My oldest friend :) Thank you for understanding how much that poem meant to me and for all of your support and quiet understanding.
Team Nacho (Elaine, Beth, Tracey) - Thank you for giving me Ireland and the Farm weekends. You don't know how important it was for me to have something to look forward to on the calendar. You all are so easy to be around - easy to laugh, cry, talk and explore.
Teresa- Thank you for our monthly dinners and being there to listen when I needed to talk

Diane- Thank you for mowing my lawn every week when I was happy to let it become a jungle.

Friends who also "get it":
Shellee- Thank you for reaching out to me immediately as someone who "gets it". Your suggestion of starting a journal saved me. Thank you for our frequent dinners in search of the perfect martini.
Eileen- I'm sorry we had to be together in this. Your perspective as a relative was unique. Thank you for bringing me "Widows wear Stilettos" as reading as much as I could was the only way I could find solace.
Tricia - Thank you for our talks as they were very therapeutic for me

Online Friends who also "get it":
Ralph- who is experiencing everything in real time with me- my "grief twin". My journey would have been so much more difficult without you. You could express feelings I could not and really knew exactly how I felt as I was feeling it. Thank you also for referring me to Bet's blog
Bet-your blog was a godsend to me as you were able to eloquently verbalize everything I was feeling but couldn't quite express. It was comforting to know I wasn't alone.
Zoe- whose posts I spoke to me and was very kind to correspond with me via email.
Hope-Even though I never contacted you, I be remiss if I didn't mention how your posts spoke to me as well and gave me comfort.

It's been a rough long year. Thank you all - Chris

Comments for Has it really been a year

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Feb 07, 2013
has it really been a year
by: silver

It has been 20 months since my husband died and I know some of what you are going through. We all grieve differently.I really lost it in August last year around my birthday.That was when the reality hit me that he wasn't here and wouldn't be coming back.I was already retired when those feelings hit me. My family helped me a lot,but so did people from church and on this site. I write poetry and that helped some. I read it on occasion to give me peace with his death. Some of my poems are on the poetry site here as well as some really great poetry by others who feel as we do. I send you prayers of love I know GOD will send you courage and peace. Hugs for you.

Jan 29, 2013
Thank you
by: Ralph

Thank you, Chris, for your kindness. What a great gesture to give thanks.

Jan 26, 2013
Has it Really Been a Year
by: Allison

Hey Chris - It's really hard to fathom that first year. So many people help in their own way. I think it is quite a testament to the human spirit that somehow we can draw on all the varying strengths of others to help drag us through those terrible days. Like me, it seems you are blessed with many friends. I am just three months further along this difficult journey and my friends and family still help daily with their support. You wrote beautiful sentiments. Keep the positive! You're doing fine. Thinking of you.

Jan 26, 2013
The Firsts are the hardest
by: Bet

You did it Chris, in part because you allowed the caring and love of others into your broken heart.



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