He chose the drug life over me
I met a wonderful man. He took care of me and my children. Then he got hooked on drugs without me knowing. He took all my money for two months telling me he was spending it to make a better life for us all. I lost my car, electricity service, and almost got evicted from my apartment because of him. I am a single mom of two children. I work hard and have no family to help me. My ex husband does not pay a penny to help my kids which are both his. One night we had a big fight and I kicked him out of my home. I then let him back in. The next week he left. He took my kids xbox, my tablet, and my air conditioner. I also had to cancel .mt atm card because he took that too. I cancelled the card and he called me screaming because he couldn't use my credit card. I fixed almost everything he messed up. Now he calls, emails or texts me very few weeks. He's asking for money or alcohol. He's asking me to forgive him and let him come home again. I love him. We were almost married. He is the only father my children have known since my ex husband. I still live him but cannot allow him to endanger my children. I want to forgive him and have the man I first met back. The problem is how do I move on from here. I want to spend the rest of my life with him but not in fear of him using drugs. My heart aches constantly. I cry endlessly when the kids are asleep. I go through each day pretending I'm ok. But I'm truly not. A piece of my heart feels like it's missing. I go on because I have to. I'm living a half life right now. None seem to notice but I feel it. I want the life I thought I had found back before he strutted using drugs. I'm at a standstill right now. I can't keep going on this way. Something has to give. I just don't know what.