He couldnt cope with the real world he missed his Dad too much!

by juliet
(Michigan)

My husband died of esophageal cancer on May 21st 2011. My 26 year old son seemed to be coping alright. He had a beautiful girlfriend of 10 months he had moved in with a month before. His dad and I were so pleased , he had gotten a job working with his best friend from childhood. It seemed his life was coming together.He had a dog that was his Baby. He had his brother , my 17 year old son over for two days to hang out so his little brother had a father figure.He brought his brother home the 2 days before mu husbands funeral. He went through some of his dads things took clothes for himself. Gave me a hug and kiss and an " I love you Mom! I"ll have my little brother over the day after Dads funeral" He left, I washed the clothes he asked to wash to wear to the funeral. Things were calming down until about midnight of Weds the 25th of May, his girlfriend called me in hysterics saying she found him in the bathroom blue and lifeless she called 911 and they were working on him be at the hospital ASAP. I screamed and cried as I texted my sisterinlaw for help. We got to the hospital to be put in a room with the others who had gotten there. He had a pulse but still working on him. Was dead at one point. Came back had no eye reaction on artificial life support blood pressure dropping. We went in I found myself angry at him for all the anguish he was causing so many loved ones. I had them remove the tubes after a while it was obvious he was not alive. Dr. said it was the right choice. I refused to let him be on life support for the next 50 years. His heart stopped beating 15 minutes later. HE WAS AT PEACE! He had it seems stolen some of husband pain meds and had huffed canned dust cleaner which is what killed him, no one had a clue. The Dr. said he didnt mean to kill himself just did it to take away his sadness. Reflecting back I now see he was a tortured soul for many years, he was extremely handsome, charming, seemed to have it all, but feeling comfortable with the world was his downfall. He always got depressed when holidays ended, he had said he couldnt live without his Dad or Me. Myself ,his sister and brother miss him terribly but I tell myself hes in a better place and no longer will suffer!His funeral is next Wednesday, the turnout will be huge, he was popular and had a tremendous amount of friends and loved ones. I just wish he could have seen ahead to the pain he caused so many people. Please young people think first. ITS NEVER AS BAD AS IT SEEMS!WE LOVE YOU MY FIRST BABY AND MISS YOU TILL WE MEET AGAIN!

Comments for He couldnt cope with the real world he missed his Dad too much!

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Jul 13, 2011
thoughts with you
by: maccy

I lost my daughter marie after 31 years,she was born with cystic fibrosis.. she died 6 weeks ago,. She had had a child, a son now of 18mths, which I feel weakened her, though she knew the risks, she went ahead, he is beautiful, true. Marie was always close to me, used to even think like me, and she had laughter that made time feel special .. magic moments with her, my brave girl. Before she died she was apologising to me even though it was her dying, Im so broken by her going words cannot express feelings of loss, I would hope to offer you my thoughts, that we may each someway gain strength from such depths,. I feel for your family deeply, how far bonds and ties, are lain within each one of us as when traits of a child is conceived, or/and love is shared deeply between people, has true meaning and purpose and is a truly miraculous event,. It is no wonder we mourn and grieve such miracles of life, when such as these closely knit people pass, them having been the sharing roots of our families living lives, my kindest regards to you x

Jul 13, 2011
thoughts with you
by: maccy

I lost my daughter marie after 31 years, 6 weeks ago, she had a child, a son 18mths, which I feel weakened her, though she knew the risks, she went ahead, he is beautiful, true. Marie was always close to me, used to even think like me, and she had laughter that made time feel special .. magic moments with her, my brave girl. Before she died she was apologising to me even though it was her dying, Im so broken by her going words cannot express feelings of loss, I would hope to offer you my thoughts, that we may each someway gain strength from such depths. I feel for your family deeply, how far bonds and ties, are lain within each one of us as when traits of a child is conceived, or/and love is shared deeply between people, has true meaning and purpose and is a truly miraculous event. It is no wonder we mourn and grieve such miracles of life, when such as these closely knit people pass, them having been the sharing roots of our families living lives, my kindest regards to you x

May 28, 2011
Sons
by: Anonymous

Suicide is the cruelest of all. I lost my son,my first born 8 months ago to suicide.This kind of death leaves so many questions that we will have no answers too. It tears families apart & leaves parents broken. My sons funeral was huge the church had seating for 500 people & still they had to set up circuit tv outside for the people that couldn't get in, I thought that was the hardest part seeing him in the casket, Boy was I mistaken every day is the hardest thing I have to deal with,I wonder sometimes if it will ever get any better because this has just paralyzed me.

May 28, 2011
SAD!!!
by: Tony

How sad to deal with this tragic loss on top of everything! Life is soooo short as it is, to end it like that is horrible, you have my deepest sympathies, hugs!

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