HE promised me , he will be here for me, always/ 2 MONTHS
It is over two months since my Michal's dead. Sometimes feels like I did not see him for years, and then i am checking my phone just to make sure, I did not missed his call. Then the reality hits again - he is gone - and I like to be gone to. My wonderful husband is suffering so much knowing he can't help me, I am so sorry to see him that way, considering his struggle with lung cancer, and there is my mom,who is 74 with breast cancer, she live in Europe. I call her every day and I am trying to keep her spirit up while my heart has knife stuck through . I am coming to conclusion, that there is not life after loosing your only child. Being a mother it is privilege and responsibility and the most important job for a mother is to protect the child from harm. When the child dies, mother feels like she fail the child, and million friends and therapists can tell you it isn't your fall , I was not there to protect my child... I will never see him again, he will never hug me kiss me, he will never say " mom, I love you so much" I will never see his smile.
I don't know how to go on.